How To Text A Tsundere
by Newt Is My Shank
Summary: Midorima Shintarou accidentally pairs up with the new transfer student for a class email exchange. Turns out the new student is eccentric enough to give even HIM a run for his money and is hell bent on giving our resident tsundere a few grey hairs and maybe heart failure before the year goes out. Rated T for profanity, pop culture references and social constipation. Slow burn.
1. A Fateful Encounter

**How to Text a Tsundere  
** _by Newt Is My Shank_

* * *

 **To:** Unknown ID  
 **From:** Ayase Izumi

 **Subject:** Hi

* * *

Dear to who I must address this to,

Hey so I kind of got your email address for the special homeroom assignment and we're supposed to exchange e-mails everyday and record our "progress" or something and collate it in a log for public viewing at the end of the semester. Suzuki-sensei says it's so we can "get to know one another other" but I think it's pure bull and really fucking awkward and you were sick and I'm new and apathetic to social interaction so you kind of just ended up with me. Sorry.

So I'm supposed to share 10 things about me this week. Just bear with it, it's part of the assignment:

...

 **1.** My name is Ayase Izumi, Class 1-5, college prep class because I'm fucking smart, fuck yeah.

 **2.** I hail from the great land of Kyoto where there's shrines every fucking turn because – you guessed it - Kyoto.

 **3.** I transferred to Shuutoku because I set my house on fire.

 **4.** My favorite food is anything without vegetables. Vegetables suck.

 **5.** Am lactose intolerant. I also eat ice-cream three times a week and am fully prepared for the consequences in exactly twenty-seven minutes.

 **6.** I'm bad at sports. Like. "I accidentally tossed the ball into the street because I panicked" bad.

 **7.** My blood type is AB. Honestly I don't know why this is important but some guy called Kazunari told me to mention this to you. Honestly Japan culture is obsessed about blood types, sheesh.

 **8.** My best subjects are English and Science. I've never gotten a score below 98 for those two. Yes, you may bow down to my excellence.

 **9.** My favorite color is green. There's…no reason for this. I just like green.

 **10.** My hair is the color of periwinkle. I'm considering changing it to something less noticeable so I don't get called a Blueberry Bitch by colorblind imbeciles. Like, blueberries aren't actually blue, they're dark purple. If you have to insult my goddamn hair at least get it right. Amateurs.

...

So that's it for now I guess. Am currently looking up pictures of the Megalodon and terrifying myself shitless because wow, did you know over 90% of the ocean is undiscovered? Does anyone understand how _fucked up_ that is? Like? Nobody? Seriously? Imagine if global warming hits its breaking point and melts all the ice caps we'd all probably have to evacuate to either outer space or the sea for possibly the next millennia or so.

What kind of fucked up shit do you think lives in the deep sea? Humans won't stand a fucking chance, I'd tell you. What with the wishful existence of the Megalodon and very possibility of the Lock Ness Monster (I love Nessie okay, fight me). The blobfish is adorable though. I don't know why those mean scientists call it ugly like look at it! It's all squishy and jiggly. Like pudding. Love pudding by the way. I'll happily get diarrhoea for a bomb ass pudding.

Also, there's a Science test this Friday. Get well soon!

 ** _\- Izumi_**

* * *

 **To:** Ayase Izumi  
 **From:** Midorima Shintarou

 **Subject:** Re: Hi

* * *

Ayase,

I would like to say that it was a pleasant surprise to see your message this morning however it was not and quite frankly I nearly deleted it once I saw the amount of profanities in your email. Profanities should never be used in an email, it's unprofessional. Also I will take responsibility of collating our messages into a log as I've already planned out the format and created a private link for it, as gratitude for you informing of this assignment.

I agree that our homeroom teacher is a sentimental fool and possibly has histrionic personality disorder (HPD). If you are unaware of this disorder, it means that he has the constant need to be the center of attention and tends to be flirtatious and overdramatic to secure his spotlight. It is often confused to being "attention seeking".

Also for your information, Cancers were the lowest in the Oha-Asa ranking yesterday, and as I was unable to acquire my lucky item of the day – a blue flower – I fell ill with a case of the flu. This was due to the accursed old lady above my balcony who decided to "accidentally" pour an entire bucket of ice cold water on top of my head while I was drying my school uniform.

I hope she chokes on her 12 cats.

Here are 10, carefully selected facts about me as well as my response to your...questionable personal information:

...

 **1.** Midorima Shintarou, Class 1-5, class representative, physical education representative and regular of the Shuutoku basketball team. And you clearly must have a modicum of intelligence to be in this class, I am assuming you must have done fairly well in your previous school to be streamlined into the college prep class so quickly.

 **2.** As you can infer from the context above, I have a distaste for cats. The reasoning behind it is due to the circumstance where whenever I am without my lucky item, I will have a high chance of getting attacked by those accursed felines. Possible hypothesis is the grilled salmon my mother cooks for me every morning. However I refuse to abandon my daily dose of astaxanthin and protein for the sake of a few scratches. (I still dislike cats)

Also I must disagree with you in that Kyoto is a prestigious area brimming with culture and religion – and quite unfortunately due to a certain someone I would like to stay very clear of for the sake of my physical and mental state.

 **3.** _**HOW DO YOU SET A HOUSE ON FIRE?**_ Are you a pyromaniac? If you are I then I must confess that I am uncomfortable with associating myself with a pyromaniac for a classmate and I might inquire for a change of partners if you are to threaten my personal safety. Though I suspect a lucky item might work with countering your pyromaniac tendencies. I could also offer you some trustworthy rehabilitation centers for your sort if the need arises.

I play shogi and Go unprofessionally on the side. Stimulating hobbies, but I prefer shogi over Go.

 **4.** You should eat your vegetables, they contain a healthy amount of dietary fibre which could possibly help with your lactose intolerance which I will gladly lecture you about in the next point. In full detail.

I would say my favorite food is red bean soup - however a healthy diet is really what you need to lead a more secure and stable lifestyle. Please set a proper diet for yourself - with what I'm seeing I'm presuming your diet is mostly meat and more meat and you have a high sugar intake with the amount of unstable energy I'm seeing in your previous email. I'm expecting you to live until the end of the semester to allow me to pass this module. You can do whatever you'd like with your diet afterwards.

 **5.** As the son of a doctor I HIGHLY encourage you to lower down your dairy intake if you're experiencing diarrhoea with the amount of ice-cream you're indulging yourself with. If you plan on continuing, eating your vegetables will likely help you...digest easier when you are consuming dairy products. If not - cut down your dairy intake to manageable sizes everyday so at least you your body will have an easier time digesting lactase over time!

And yes, I plan to pursue further study in medicine after graduation. It is a stable and well-paying profession for someone with my caliber.

 **6.** Remind me never to pair up with you for physical education.

Aside from basketball I am proficient in most physical activity. Volleyball comes to a close second due to the height advantage that I have over most of my peers.

 **7.** Hm, very interesting. My blood type is B. We are compatible, I approve of our association. Please inform me of your horoscope when you return my email. Also, remind me to hit Takao the next time I see him.

 **8.** How bold of you to presume that I would ever bow down to someone who has barely proven their worth? I personally expected more coming from a college prep class transfer. Any monkey who has methodically studied and written notes can acquire those scores.

I am extremely proficient in all Science subjects and to a minor degree - every other subject. As the class representative, you may approach me for any help that you might face with a subject. Please take this into consideration as I rarely offer my services to anyone. I am only extending this offer to you in hopes that Suzuki will see it as us attempting to get along.

 **9.** I do not have a particular favorite color. However I agree that green is an...acceptable color.

 **10.** I sympathize with you on the basis of bullies attempting to throw insults in the form of inconsistent information and facts. Frankly speaking if they spent that much time coming up with even a mildly creative insult they could spend that same amount of effort in their studies. I cannot comment on the color of your hair as I have not seen it and personally I do not care.

I have a younger sister. She is problematic. That is all.

I have skimmed through the rabble that is your obscure fascination with the deep sea and I have found several misconceptions. First - the Megaladon is extinct. It has been for centuries and there is scientific proof backing it. Do not bring it up again. I had to undergo two weeks of Kise getting traumatized by a deep sea documentary and trying to prove to my former team that the Mosasaurus is going to eat him in the pool. Akashi almost murdered him with four sets of drills.

I'd like to have you know that I went to look up pictures of a blowfish on Bing. It is the most disgusting thing I have ever seen and I am gravely questioning your sense of visual taste.

Also, do you always ramble unnecessarily like this? I am 98% certain you are harboring a small case of ADHD. Uncontrollable speech is under a hyperactive-impulsive sub-type of ADHD. If you are, eating fish everyday should help calm you down.

I express my gratitude for informing me of this test. Takao sleeps through lessons and is probably unaware of it due to his lack of respect for his education. I shall not tell him.

 _ **\- Midorima Shintarou**_

* * *

 **To:** Midorima Shintarou  
 **From:** Ayase Izumi

 **Subject:**

* * *

Dear Midorima,

HOLY SHIT

 _ **\- Izumi**_

* * *

 **Please drop a review as encouragement to keep on going~! Reviews are great!**

* * *

 **Glossary** :

 **College prep course** \- Japanese high schools have prep college courses for students who are particularly excelling in their subjects. Basically a prep class for excelling students.

 **Lactose intolerance** \- Despite popular belief, people with lactose intolerance can consume SOME dairy. Varies from person to person. I drink one carton of milk and 30 minutes later I'm having diahhorea.

 **Blood types** \- Japanese people are obsessed about their blood type and if you ask around any Japanese person they'd very likely know their blood type. A good portion of them believe that your blood type shapes your how your personality is like.

 **Megalodon -** The largest shark/predator in the world. It (presumably) went extinct. It's fucking terrifying.

 **Go -** Some of you already know what shogi is but Go is like a board game where the aim is to claim more territory then your opponent.

 **Midorima's subjects + sister -** According to KnB wikia, Midorima excels in both Biology and Chemistry and is known to have an unnamed younger sister.

Also the reasoning why Midorima is being so medical and fussy is because his dream job aside from basketball is to be a doctor. According to the manga and the wikia he is only seen to be haughty and arrogant on court, so I decided to tone it down a notch when he's off of it (though he's still a tsundere little shit lmao).


	2. Battle of the Blue Cheese

**How to Text a Tsundere  
** _by Newt Is My Shank_

* * *

 **To:** Midorima Shintarou  
 **From:** Ayase Izumi

 **Subject:** yikes

* * *

MIDO-CHAN,

Wow okay your friend Kazunari warned me you might be a little eccentric but damn you'd give me a run for my money, Mido-chan! And people call me a freak :D yikes.

Also do you like Kaomojis? ( ´ ▽ ` )ﾉ I just discovered them! My cousin sent me a whole bunch I even downloaded the app from the store! CUTEEEE ( ﾟДﾟ)＜! And to respond to your extremely long ass email (I think it hit like 1k what the fuck Mido-chan). Here is my totally dignified, totally-makes-a-fuck-load-of-sense response in social studies quotation format, please be thankful since I'm ditching quadratic equations to defend my honor from your callous statements:

...

" **Also I must disagree with you in that Kyoto is a prestigious area brimming with culture and religion".  
** Shit son not when you've lived there for 15 years and you end up in a stuffy rich people school because your mom wanted you to have the "best prospects" plus i'm pretty sure there's a psychopath running my school.

" _ **HOW DO YOU SET A HOUSE ON FIRE?"  
**_ Okay funny story my mom wasn't at home because she went out to buy cat litter and I tried to make breakfast for the first time in my life. My mom doesn't let me near the kitchen because apparently to her "everything I touch catches fire" but I was starving and went "fuck it" and tried to make an egg.

I got really bored while making the egg so my brain tells me "hey while the egg's cooking let's see how many times can tickle Suga before she tears my face off" so I went and did that and my mom came home and started screaming because the entire kitchen went up in flames while I was playing with Suga and long story short here I am bitches.

" **Are you a pyromaniac?"  
** No I'm just easily distracted. About the same thing though lol.

" **You should eat your vegetables."  
** I'll eat them once someone finds a way to make them not taste like babies' tears and grass. DON'T LECTURE ME ABOUT THIS PLS MIDO-CHAN I HEAR IT ENOUGH FROM MY MOM.

" **I'm expecting you to live until the end of the semester to allow me to pass this module."  
** Mido-chan you wound me.

" **Remind me never to pair up with you for anything sports related."  
** Honestly I can't even fight back on this one because same. Also you're probably like a fucking giant or something if you're playing a sport like basketball. I probably won't even reach your upper thigh when we do warm ups lol.

" **I personally expected more coming from a college prep class transfer. Any monkey who has methodically studied and written notes can acquire those scores."  
** WOW THANKS MIDO-CHAN THANKS FOR DISCREDITING MY LIFE'S WORK. Also don't be mean to monkeys monkeys are cute what the fuck we evolved from them Mido-chan. (Yes I believe in the Darwinist theory of evolution FIGHT ME CANCER BOI)

" **I cannot comment on the color of your hair as I have not seen it and personally I do not care."  
** Thanks.

...

Also dude what fuck you searched up the blobfish on BING? BING? Bruh you living in the 19th century or what just use fucking google or something ain't nobody got time to Bing that shit. That search engine is as useful as a dog in a bone factory. Oh and shit yeah I _think_ I have ADHD? Fuck I don't know my mom wanted to get me checked early on so we went to the hospital for a check up but I saw a dead body on a gurney and I kinda got distracted and ran after it and I swear my mom almost murdered me when she found me LOL.

Don't be mean to Kazunari. He's cute. A little noisy but cute. We talked about you the other day while you were sick and he said you were a tsundere but you can be "kinda cute" too. Is he gay? Or lowkey gay? Are YOU gay? Because he talks about you like. A lot. It's actually kind of adorable.

Okay brb gotta finish homework so I can die hope you're better Mido-chan!

 _ **\- Izumi**_ _ **( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)**_

* * *

 **To:** Midorima Shintarou  
 **From:** Ayase Izumi

 **Subject:** Re:yikes

* * *

MIDO-CHAN,

 _P.S._ Sorry I forgot to mention that I'm a Pisces. Is that a good thing?

 _P.P.S_ I have STELLAR visual taste how dare you. Also it's BLOBfish not BLOWfish. #BOBTHEBLOBFISH

 _P.P.P.S_ Fine I'll try the fish thing.

 _ **\- Izumi**_ _ **( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)**_

* * *

 **To:** Ayase Izumi  
 **From:** Midorima Shintarou

 **Subject:** Re: Re: yikes

* * *

Ayase,

Do not call me Mido-chan.

I personally detest those emoji things. Kise uses them incessantly in his texts. It is very annoying. He sends me more whenever I tell him to go die. Also, why did you reply exactly 17 hours after I replied to you? And furthermore at 3AM IN THE MORNING? Did you have something better to do other than reply to my emails? You shouldn't be staying up so late to complete something as simple as quadratic equations. Certainly they aren't difficult for a college prep transfer like you?

Also, do not lump me with your sort. We are not "BFFs". We have exchanged messages only once and I have never seen your face. Do not get in over your head that me extending my offer to assist you in your academics as a sign that we are closer than mere acquaintances. However seeing as you are a Pisces, I'll let it slide just this once. Pisces and Cancer have generally acceptable compatibility and today's forecast has forewarned me to be forgiving of my peers' digressions.

As a Pisces you should learn to condition yourself to accept criticism. Also a friendly reminder your horoscope is ranked last in today's forecast, your lucky item is a rosary. Equip yourself with it if you do not want to fall victim to whatever misfortune decides to befall on you today.

From your statements alone your previous school sounds like a mental asylum. Certainly it can't be that bad for there to be a "psychopath" running around your school? I can't tell if you are over-exaggerating or if you are talking about someone I am acquainted with.

After reading your little story I am more than convinced that you have ADHD or at least very mild ADD. It means that you are very inattentive but not necessarily hyperactive. However from reading your emails I am hypothesizing that it is ADHD.

(Please stop swearing. It is unsightly for a girl to swear.)

As of this date, I am approximately 195cm. You would have to be 120cm or lower to reach my upper thighs. If you are, then you have a very miserable future ahead of you. I pray for your future husband.

Also please refrain from making untrue comments about Takao. I felt the need to permanently bleach my eyes after reading you calling him "cute". He is not cute. He is the spawn of Satan and Hades. I am heavily doubting your visual taste at this period of time. ADHD and pyromania aside, I think you might need to get your eyesight checked. I can recommend you a trustworthy optometrist at my father's hospital.

Will have to cut this email short, am currently leaving for school. I shall see you in homeroom.

 _ **\- Midorima**_

* * *

 **To:** Ayase Izumi  
 **From:** Midorima Shintarou

 **Subject:** Re: Re: Re: yikes

* * *

P.S. I AM NOT HOMOSEXUAL. AND CERTAINLY NOT WITH TAKAO.

 _ **\- Midorima**_

* * *

 **To:** Midorima Shintarou  
 **From:** Ayase Izumi

 **Subject:** fuck i woke up late

* * *

Mido-Mido **,**

Lmao shit you right fam I got out of the house and almost got hit by a car wtf? Also I live in a Buddhist household Cancer boi don't got a rosary lying around here. Even if I did I'd probably try to bless myself with it from your Oha-Asa shit like? You sure you're not trying to curse me? Because my day is starting out pretty shit to be honest.

Anyways I'll probably like see you after homeroom if I manage to not die on the way there lmao.

Also I AM NOT EXAGGERATING ONE DAY THE PSYCHOPATH GOT CALLED SHORT BY SOME DUDE IN THE VOLLEYBALL CLUB AND AFTER THAT DAY THE TEACHER TOLD US THE VOLLEYBALL DUDE SUDDENLY HAD TO TRANSFER OUT DUE TO A "PERSONAL REASONS" LIKE HOW TF? Also don't tell me what to do swearing helps keep my anxiety in check okay you don't wanna be seeing a 1"5 punk running around trying to fight everybody and getting panic attacks.

Running out of the bus now brb. Pray for my survival Mido-Mido-chan!

 _ **\- Izumi**_

* * *

 **To:** Midorima Shintarou  
 **From:** Ayase Izumi

 **Subject:** Re: fuck i woke up late

* * *

Mido-Mido,

 _P.S._ I can guarantee that you are most DEFINITELY a tsundere.

 _P.S._ Also it's okay Mido-Mido onee-san shall accept you for whoever you are, and whoever you like it's the 21st century boys loving boys is totally normal no need to deny who you truly are.

 _ **\- Izumi ᕕ( ՞ ᗜ ՞ )ᕗ**_

* * *

 **To:** Midorima Shintarou  
 **From:** Ayase Izumi

 **Subject:** Re: Re: fuck i woke up late

* * *

MIDO-MIDO,

I AM OUTSIDE THE GATE. ATTEMPTING TO CLIMB OVER WITHOUT AROUSING SUSPICION.

ATTEMPT SUCCESS. BRISK WALKING. HALLWAYS ARE CLEAR. FEELING UNEASY. INFILTRATION SHOULD NOT BE THIS EASY. THIS IS FUCKING SHUUTOKU SHOULDN'T THERE BE SECURITY EVERYWHERE.

I FEEL LIKE I'M IN MISSION IMPOSSIBLE OR SOME SHIT. PLEASE CAST ME AS ETHAN HUNT PLS.

WALKING UP THE STAIRS AS QUIETLY AS I CAN.

SHIT I HEAR SOMEONE CREEPING UP BEHIND ME.

HOLY

F

SUZUKI-SENSEI IS CARRYING BLUE CHEESE WHY THE FUCK IS HE CARRYING MOLDY ASS CHEESE

OH MY GOD HE'S YELLING AT ME TO COME DOWN SO HE CAN REPORT ME ABORT ABORT ABORT HOLY FUCK THAT CHEESE STINKS OF MY CAT'S PISS

FUCK HE'S CHASING ME WITH THE CHEESE LMAO BYE

 _ **\- Izumi ᕕ( ՞ ᗜ ՞ )ᕗ**_

* * *

 **To:** Midorima Shintarou  
 **From:** Ayase Izumi

 **Subject:** Re: Re: Re: fuck i woke up late

* * *

 _UPDATE:_ I AM CURRENTLY RUNNING AWAY FROM THE BLUE CHEESE. THIS IS NOT A DRILL. SENSEI LOOKS LIKE HE'S GONNA MAKE ME EAT IT UNTIL I SHIT BLOOD. THIS IS NOT OKAY I AM LACTOSE INTOLERANT I'M CALLING ABUSE WTF WHY IS THERE A PSYCHOPATH IN EVERY SCHOOL I GO TO ASDAGJFAHJAKDJKLAL -

 _ **\- Izumi ᕕ( ՞ ᗜ ՞ )ᕗ**_

* * *

 **To:** Midorima Shintarou  
 **From:** Ayase Izumi

 **Subject:** Re: Re: Re: Re: fuck i woke up late

* * *

 _UPDATE UPDATE:_ Am currently writing to you on the toilet seat as I speak. Suzuki-sensei is yelling at me from outside the bathroom telling me that if I don't go to his office right away he'll throw The Cheese into the bathroom and make me wait it out. I swear it smells like a locker room after being used by sweaty boys in here. I can see why God abandoned this universe.

This is a rather sticky situation. I am going to weigh my choices whether I shall surrender this battle to win the war. I do not plan to let Suzuki-sensei win but the threat of The Cheese is far too formidable for someone like me to overcome.

Will update you soon.

 _ **\- Izumi ᕕ( ՞ ᗜ ՞ )ᕗ**_

* * *

 **To:** Ayase Izumi  
 **From:** Midorima Shintarou

 **Subject:** Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: fuck i woke up late

* * *

Ayase,

Do not call me Mido-Mido. It is disgusting. Are you mocking me Ayase? I do not call you by some embarrassing moniker so I do not see why you must give me one.

While I am impressed by your ability to message while running I think you are a thrill-seeking idiot with too much time on your hands. Takao is reading your messages from over my shoulder and has dissolved into mild hysterics. I hope he chokes himself. He finds it hilarious that you fear blue cheese so deeply and I am assuming there is a hidden trauma behind that fear that I certainly do not wish to pry into.

Also I do not believe that you hold a big enough threat for me to waste my breath cursing you with Oha-Asa. Your existence is a curse in itself. By the way there is a shop near Shuutoku that sells trinkets, it should also sell rosaries. Get one to rid yourself of your misfortune.

 _ **\- Midorima**_

* * *

 **To:** Ayase Izumi  
 **From:** Midorima Shintarou

 **Subject:** Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: fuck i woke up late

* * *

Ayase,

It has been fifteen minutes and you have not responded to my email. Sensei has yet to return back to the classroom. Not that I care but you promised me an update on your situation and I have yet to receive one. Takao is still laughing. He still finds your fear of blue cheese to be a source of amusement. He says that he cannot imagine someone as "serious as Izumi-chan to be so hysterical". Either he is delusional or we are talking about a different Ayase Izumi. I am assuming he is delusional.

 _ **\- Midorima**_

* * *

 **To:** Ayase Izumi  
 **From:** Midorima Shintarou

 **Subject:** Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: fuck i woke up late

* * *

Ayase,

? Matsukawa-sensei came in to relieve Suzuki. Takao has stopped laughing. He is not revealing any information on Suzuki's absence. We are taking attendance. Takao has voiced out his concern about Suzuki but sensei dismissed him. Not that I'm worried but what have you done? This would not have happened if you had worn your lucky item. Pisces' forecast forewarned that you should be careful of your surroundings and stay low today.

 _ **\- Midorima**_

* * *

 **To:** Ayase Izumi  
 **From:** Midorima Shintarou

 **Subject:** Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: fuck i woke up late

* * *

Ayase,

? Reply or I shall deem your existence as obsolete. This is no laughing matter. I am being very serious.

 _ **\- Midorima**_

* * *

 **To:** Ayase Izumi  
 **From:** Midorima Shintarou

 **Subject:** YOU IDIOT

* * *

AYASE,

PLEASE ENLIGHTEN ME WHY YOU DECIDED TO RISK YOUR LIFE ATTEMPTING TO _**SCALE**_ THE BUILDING TO RUN AWAY FROM A TEACHER? ARE YOU INSANE? AFTER I TOLD YOU TO STAY LOW TODAY? Your idiocy baffles me. Matsukawa-sensei informed us that you tried to climb the ledge on the third floor window and slipped and fell. I hope that fall knocked some of that stupidity out of you. Honestly I don't know why I even bother with you sometimes. You could have very well died and deserved it.

 _ **\- Midorima**_

* * *

 **To:** Ayase Izumi  
 **From:** Midorima Shintarou

 **Subject:** Re: YOU IDIOT

* * *

Ayase,

Takao called me an asshole and told me to apologize for my insensitivity. I am not apologizing. I think you were being foolish and reckless. However it has been two hours since you last went online and it has brought up some concerns. Takao wants to tell you that he hopes you are fine and not in a coma however considering your luck his worries might not be unfoun

 _ **\- Midorima**_

* * *

 **To:** Ayase Izumi  
 **From:** Midorima Shintarou

 **Subject:** Re: Re: YOU IDIOT

* * *

Heyyyyy Izu-chan ( ´罒`*)!

HEY IZUMI-CHAN PLEASE IGNORE SHIN-CHANS TSUNDERENESS HE SOUNDS PISSED BUT HE'S NOT HE'S RLY WORRIED FOR YA HE EVEN MESSAGED YA DURING THE BIO LESSON & HES NEVER DONE IT BEFORE NOT EVEN FOR ME I CRI OK FUCK HES CHASING MEASDFMEHUFASDHBAA

 _ **\- Midorima**_

* * *

 **To:** Ayase Izumi  
 **From:** Midorima Shintarou

 **Subject:** Re: Re: Re: YOU IDIOT

* * *

AYASE,

Delete that message now. That was Takao being idiotic. By no means am I worried for you when you brought this situation upon yourself. Now excuse me, I have better things to do at the moment than chatting with you. Do not bother replying. I hope you reflect on your actions. I do not by any means want to be infected by your stupidity any longer.

 _ **\- Midorima**_

* * *

 **To:** Ayase Izumi  
 **From:** Midorima Shintarou

 **Subject:** Re: Re: Re: Re: YOU IDIOT

* * *

Ayase,

School is over. Where are you now? It has been approximately five hours. Takao is refusing to talk to me until I apologize to you. Which I shall not. This is completely your wrongdoing and you should have heeded my warnings instead of doing something so foolish. I will be attending basketball practice in a few minutes. InterHigh is nearing and I do not wish to use my precious training time to cater to your needs.

 _ **\- Midorima**_

* * *

 **To:** Ayase Izumi  
 **From:** Midorima Shintarou

 **Subject:** Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: YOU IDIOT

* * *

Ayase,

This is stupid. If you are angry please say so instead of keeping silent. I refuse to entertain an exchange partner this immature. If I do not receive a reply once practice is finished I shall request to Suzuki to switch partners. This is ridiculous. I was merely speaking the truth. You fell because of your impulsive stupidity. I am aware that impulsiveness is a common trait in a Pisces but even the stupidest Pisces should know the line between impulsiveness and recklessness.

 _ **\- Midorima**_

* * *

 **To:** Ayase Izumi  
 **From:** Midorima Shintarou

 **Subject:** Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: YOU IDIOT

* * *

Ayase,

Practice is over. I have yet to receive a reply from you. This is your final warning. I shall not tolerate this foolishness any longer.

 _ **\- Midorima**_

* * *

 **To:** Ayase Izumi  
 **From:** Midorima Shintarou

 **Subject:** Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: YOU IDIOT

* * *

Ayase,

I am heading towards the trinket shop to retrieve your lucky item. I am having Takao deliver it to your home as I have better things to do than visit you. It may be too late but it should relieve some of your misfortune for today. Do not count on me to do this for you again. This is a one time situation only. I am only doing this in order to placate Takao, who cannot stop insisting to visit you.

 _ **\- Midorima**_

* * *

 **To:** Ayase Izumi  
 **From:** Midorima Shintarou

 **Subject:** Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: YOU IDIOT

* * *

Ayase,

It pains me to say that it feels dull without having your lengthy rants and mindless nonsense to read while waiting for Takao to drive me home. We visited your mother earlier today and she informed us that you would be staying the night at the hospital while getting your stitches. She was understandably confused by the rosary but promised to deliver it to you later so you could recover some of your luck. She is a very wise woman, you should listen to her more often. She offered us tea and double chocolate chip cookies. You should be grateful for your mother Ayase. She makes acceptable cookies.

Also why was I not informed of the nature of your injury earlier? I might have toned down my callousness if I had known of this earlier. Head injuries are no laughing matter.

 _ **\- Midorima**_

* * *

 **To:** Ayase Izumi  
 **From:** Midorima Shintarou

 **Subject:** I apologize

* * *

Ayase,

I admit that I might have crossed the line with my insensitivity today. While the accident is still completely your fault it does not mean that I actually wish you any harm. While almost considered borderline manic, I find your emails and mindless drabbles to be faintly compelling and - to a certain extent - mildly entertaining, even if I have not yet had the chance to meet you in person. Please be grateful as I am proofreading this and I am already finding this entire email to be completely illogical and overly emotional considering we have only spoke - or messaged in this situation - for at most three days.

As I do not intend to replace you with anyone else yet - I implore you to get yourself back in top condition as soon as possible. If you are still absent by tomorrow I will drop off your lucky item to your mother to speed up your recovery. Take it as a sign of my goodwill.

….Do not die yet.

 _ **\- Midorima**_

* * *

 **To:** Midorima Shintarou  
 **From:** Ayase Izumi

 **Subject:** Re: I apologize

* * *

Oh lol sorry Shin-tan forgot to charge my phone today.

 _ **\- Izumi ᕕ( ՞ ᗜ ՞ )ᕗ**_

* * *

 **To:** Midorima Shintarou  
 **From:** Ayase Izumi

 **Subject:** i just read everything lmao

* * *

AWW SHIT YOU DO CARE FOR ME SHIN-TAN I'M SO TOUCHED I'M GONNA GIVE YOU A BIG FAT FUCKING HUG ONCE I GET OUT OF HOSPITAL TOMORROW. ٩(๑ ₃ )۶

 _ **\- Izumi ᕕ( ՞ ᗜ ՞ )ᕗ**_

* * *

 **To:** Ayase Izumi  
 **From:** Midorima Shintarou

 **Subject:** I take it back

* * *

DIE, AYASE.

 _ **\- Midorima**_

* * *

 **Drop a review? They really do give me the encouragement to write more and update frequently!**

 _This is taken from an actual conversation I had with my real life tsundere friend. I broke my leg trying to slide down the stairs and ended up in hospital for a day and while I was unconscious he sent me 24 unanswered SMS's and 9 calls, so technically this chapter isn't exactly unrealistic lmao. Midorima is wild._


	3. Philosophy? Philosophy

**Author's Note:** I'll be very honest and say that I'm kind of discouraged by the lack of reviews (shoutout to user fraufrau) and I'm seriously demotivated from continuing this any further but I really like this story so I'll keep updating for those who want to read it!

 **2nd Authors Note:** There's a bit more context in this one and TakaoxOC interaction! Yay! This story will still continue to have MidorimaxOC's emails but lesser once they finally meet. Hope those who are still reading will enjoy :D Also forewarned tiny Sherlock spoiler down below.

* * *

 _ **How To Text A Tsundere**  
by Newt Is My Shank_

* * *

 **To:** Midorima Shintarou  
 **From:** Ayase Izumi

 **Subject:** come on

* * *

SHIN-TAAAAAAN,

Come on I said I was sorry! It's been two days and you haven't even visited me once! And I had a concussion ffs you really think my first priority would be to charge my phone? Okay shit sorry Shin-tan I apologize for being unable to use telepathy to tell you that I had a head injury, but it's not even that serious! Just a couple of stitches. And a wrist fracture. And I may have bruised my shoulder a tiny, tiny bit but it's all chill! I'm only in hospital because my mom doesn't want me wandering off in the middle of the night unsupervised. It's not like I have traumatic brain injury or some shit I know what you're thinking about Kazunari told me yesterday.

By the way your best friend has been visiting me everyday after practice! What a little sweetheart, huh? He even brings me mochi! I think my mom is in love with him. She's been overfeeding him with cookies and thanking him for taking the trouble to visit "my asshole of a daughter" and asks where is "his handsome scholar friend".

Heheh I bet you're blushing having an older woman call you handsome huh? Come visit me soon Shin-taaaaaan!

Brb the nurse is coming in to give me shots yeet pray for me.

 _ **\- Izumi ᕕ( ՞ ᗜ ՞ )ᕗ**_

* * *

 **To:** Midorima Shintarou  
 **From:** Ayase Izumi

 **Subject:** Re: come on

* * *

SHIN-TAN!

Does that name bother you? Kazunari calls you "Shin-chan" all the time. He's been delivering me our homework every day. I do them immediately because it's boring as balls around here. I let Kazunari copy sometimes because he pouts like a puppy and who can't deny that? He pulled that on my mom once and I swear she looked like she wanted to adopt him.

And when I mean adopt I don't mean as like a son.

I mean like a puppy.

A human puppy.

I shall stop right there. That is one hentai plot that doesn't need going into.

By the way today's daifuku was really good! Kazunari says you recommended it because of its name! "Great luck" huh? Could've used it when I was trying to scale that building lol. Okay sorry Kazunari says I shouldn't mention it to you because you get really annoyed when I do. Aww did me hurting myself affect you that badly? Sorry Shin-tan~ I didn't know you cared for me this much.

 _ **\- Izumi ᕕ( ՞ ᗜ ՞ )ᕗ**_

* * *

 **To:** Midorima Shintarou  
 **From:** Ayase Izumi

 **Subject:** Re: Re: come on

* * *

SHIN-TAN!

Okay I should explain why all the dumb ass nicknames. I read that "giving someone a friendly nickname" would signify a "step towards friendship". Please don't ask me why I'm learning how to socialize from a book. Please fucking don't.

So yeah I don't know it just feels kind of cold to call you Midorima all the time. Kazunari says that you're too cute to be called Midorima and that calling you "Shin-chan" fits you better. I called Kazunari by his last name the first time we met too but he said that "Izumi-chan is cute so I'll let you call me Kazu~". Does he have that HPD thing that you mentioned? The one where if you have it you get all flirty and attention seeking and shit? Not that I hate it, but just a theory. That cute little fucker thinks it's cool to get me all flustered all the time so I need to devise a way to payback. No one puts the great Izumi-sama in a corner! HO HO HO.

 _ **\- Izumi ᕕ( ՞ ᗜ ՞ )ᕗ**_

* * *

 **To:** Midorima Shintarou  
 **From:** Ayase Izumi

 **Subject:** Re: Re: Re: come on

* * *

By the way Shin-tan,

Thanks for getting me a green cat plushie~, and I know you hate cats too! So thanks a lot. He's really cute, I think I'm going to call him Shin-tan. He even has glasses! How did you know about my glasses fetish? Gotta love a man who can work them glasses. I'm short sighted so I'm supposed to wear glasses.I tried wearing my mom's but they look really stupid on me so I went on and bought contacts instead.

Kazunari is reading my email over my shoulder and cackling. I honestly don't see what's so funny. Maybe he's tired. I should send him away, call the nurse and get him checked. Poor Kazunari, he's probably tired from basketball practice. I should hit him and wake him up.

 _ **\- Izumi ᕕ( ՞ ᗜ ՞ )ᕗ**_

* * *

 **To:** Ayase Izumi  
 **From:** Midorima Shintarou

 **Subject:** Re: Re: Re: Re: come on

* * *

Ayase,

...You may call me Shintarou.

 _ **\- Shintarou**_

* * *

 **To:** Ayase Izumi  
 **From:** Midorima Shintarou

 **Subject:** Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: come on

* * *

 _P.S._ I hope you hit him.

 _ **\- Shintarou**_

* * *

 **To:** Takao Kazunari kazu-kazu-chan  
 **From:** Midorima Shintarou

 **Subject:**

* * *

Die, Takao.

 _ **\- Midorima**_

* * *

 **To:** Midorima Shintarou  
 **From:** Takao Kazunari

 **Subject:**

* * *

? ? ? ? ? ? ?

 _ **\- Kazu**_ _**ﾟ**_ _ **°˖* ᕕ( ᐛ )ᕗ**_

* * *

 **To:** Midorima Shintarou  
 **From:** Ayase Izumi

 **Subject:** hehehe

* * *

Shintarou~! Shintarou~! Shintarou~!

Heheh your name is really pretty, Shintarou~. I feel honored. You know you can call me Izumi too right? Ah but maybe you're one of those people who aren't too cool with being super personal with each other so it's fine~. Takao is coming to visit later today! At least I won't get bored. Honestly it's the fracture that's being annoying now. My head's fine. Stitches are a little itchy.

(And no I didn't hit him. Unfortunately for you. Sorry Shintarou.)

By the way I just got a weird thought after reading some text post on Tumblr. You've probably heard of it before, but it's some philosophy/historical quote that kind of got me hooked, and now I'm looking through philosophy stuff because THIS IS A HOSPITAL AND THERE'S LITERALLY NOTHING TO DO. Also I like philosophy. Philosophy's cool. Rock on Aristotle.

Okay so this story was about this German general who says that he divides his men into 4 groups. Smart, hardworking, stupid and lazy. Usually two characteristics are combined. Those who are clever and hardworking should work as General Staff. The stupid and lazy are suited for manual labour. And anyone who is both smart and lazy are most qualified for the highest leadership duties, because they know the best way to get things done efficiently.

Oh and that people who are stupid and hardworking should just perish because they are menaces to society.

That kind of got me thinking if you have any philosophers you admire? I'm pinning you for a Hume kind of guy. He was considered to be gregarious and generous aka an all around nice guy. He believed that the worth of a man is the same as the worth of an oyster. I guess to dumb it down he was a "everyone should be considered equal" kind of guy. I'm probably rambling again but I'm trying to find out whether a person's personality is affected by the philosophy they follow. Or maybe you're those really logical ones. Pythagoras?

By the way guess who said this quote: _The first method for estimating the intelligence of a ruler is to look at the men he has around him._

Talk to me soon Shintarou~ I miss our disconnected, off-timed emails. Yikes I sound desperate. SORRRYYYYY.

 _ **\- Izumi ᕕ( ՞ ᗜ ՞ )ᕗ**_

* * *

 **To:** Ayase Izumi  
 **From:** Midorima Shintarou

 **Subject:** What on earth are you up to?

* * *

Ayase,

I truly hope you do not end up repeating my name over and over again once we meet. It is embarrassing and Takao will never let me hear the end of it. But yes, you may refer me to Shintarou. Understand that this is a privilege you should not abuse.

I am….pleased that the doctors are taking care of you properly. A head injury could prove fatal if treated incorrectly. Also if your stitches itch you should tell the nurse to apply some cream on it. Don't scratch it. For your fracture try not to add too much pressure onto it when you're sleeping or when you are doing something that requires both your hands. Take it slow and do not be foolish and try to do anything that might further damage your fracture just to "see if it's getting better" since I assume you might be considering it, judging by your impulsiveness. You're very likely to get a cast and it would be best for your sake that you do not endanger your wrist any further if you do not intend to get surgery. Please take note of this this so I do not have to repeat myself again.

And to answer your question: yes, I have heard of the quote but not on this "Tumblr" you are using. My former captain used to binge-read philosophy and historical books while he was having insomnia during middle school. He would often send me the occasional morality quiz and random quote at the dead of the night expecting me to reply, which I did - for the sake of my sanity and his emotional state. Being the vice-captain could be quite taxing at times. I think you might like him, Ayase. While you are not as completely unhinged as he is I think the both of you could bond over your obsession for philosophy. And extremity. Definitely extremity.

I agree with the statement that the unintelligent and hardworking should be perished. They are troublemakers and overall nuisances to society. Nothing good could possibly come out of people who own those two attributes.

While I clearly do not have enough time as you do to know everything about the philosopher world, I do dabble in it occasionally and have come to respect the philosophers Plato and Socrates. As some of the older philosophers they set and inspired the tone for philosophy and their beliefs were highly focused on truth and the thirst for true wisdom, which I would like to say is something that I would like to pursue as well. So unfortunately for you Ayase, I would have to say your assumptions on who I "followed" were incorrect - and disappointingly - your judge on my character. Though I would like to research on the other two that you have mentioned into more detail so I do not sound like a fool when I get into debates which you will likely drag me into to satisfy your need for argument.

As for the quote, it is clearly from Machiavelli. Any uneducated fool would know this is one of his famous quotes. Though I do not particularly agree with his beliefs I must admit that he is a brilliant author. My former captain speaks very highly of him during his midnight rants. Unsurprising, considering his mindset is heavily inspired from some of Machiavelli's philosophies…

Ah, I see where you're getting at Ayase. You might be onto something about your theory that we might indirectly reflect our personalities on the philosophies that we follow. Interesting.

Will be busy for the next hour or so. Do not bother messaging me. Please do not overexert yourself on useless things. Rest should be your number one priority in this moment of time. I am glad to know that you are taking proper care of your lucky items.

 _ **\- Shintarou**_

* * *

 **To:** Ayase Izumi  
 **From:** Midorima Shintarou

 **Subject:** Re: What on earth are you up to?

* * *

 _P.S._ Your naming sense is...strange. I am distraught to whether I should be honored or insulted that you have decided to name your lucky item after me. Also tell Takao to go die when you see him.

 _ **\- Shintarou**_

* * *

Izumi sighed loudly as she tossed her phone to the side, feeling a little pouty that she wasn't allowed to bother Midorima for the next hour or so. So far today she had already studied through three historical texts, studied for the Literature test, completed every single piece of homework Takao gave her and finished Machiavelli's _**The Prince**_ for the fourth time this morning.

"Holy fuck balls I'm so bored," she declared loudly to no-one in particular. A muffled snorting came from outside her room and and watched with pleasant surprise when a laughing Takao swaggered in with a Lawson bag and a….mini cactus? "I'm here, Izu-chan~!" Takao plopped himself down by her bedside, big Cheshire grin on his face. Izumi squeaked when Takao gently moved her inside so he could sit next to her, still not used to being manhandled by the mischievous basketball player. Or anyone else for that matter. "You're early today," Izumi mentioned with surprise, face flushing a light hue of pink when the dark-haired player's arm wrapped around her waist - only to take retrieve the Lawson bag he had left next to her.

"We got the day off practice to rest," Takao singsonged as he took out an apple and started cutting it, "InterHigh prelims are starting so Coach wants us in tip-top condition. Don't know why though. Aside from Seiho I doubt no-one else can actually beat us. So there's nothing for me to do today~." Izumi simply "aah"ed while watching Takao carve out cute little rabbit apples. If she tried that she'd probably slice off her entire finger. "I see, I'm sorry that you had to visit me to relieve your boredom then," the blue-haired girl said with no heat or malice behind it whatsoever.

This prompted Takao to stop cutting and stare at her exasperatedly, leaning his body slightly onto her more petite form, careful to avoid her injured wrist and the bandages on her shoulder. The first time he had come to visit he nearly had a heart attack when he saw the amount of bandages on the girl's body and yelled, "Izumi-chan if this is your definition of 'not bad' I really don't wanna know your definition when it's really bad! You're lucky Shin-chan doesn't know about this."

"Maa~ that's not true Izu-chan! I'm happy to spend time with you!" Takao pouted adorably, "I'm just not used to having so much free time after classes~ also Shin-chan told me to die last night so my chest hurts. See?" Takao faux-whined and grabbed Izumi's unhurt hand and placed it against his chest. Izumi's ears turned red at the "intimacy" of the gesture and how casually Takao had held her hand against his chest. His very nice, _toned_ chest. Christ were all basketball players this fucking hot -

"I swear you're doing this to me on purpose," Izumi blurted out in embarrassment. Takao tilted his head cutely at her and grinned innocently, "Doing what, Izu-chan~?" The Hawk Eye player mentally chuckled at the girl's socially constipated expression as she gesticulated wildly at his impressive upper torso. He puffed his chest out proudly, he didn't suffer all those punishment push-ups for nothing! Miyaji seriously couldn't take a joke sometimes...

" _That_. That, flirty thing that you do! W-When you touch me and s-stuff," Izumi stuttered. "Me? Touching you? But that's what friends do, Izu-chan~" Takao grinned widely at her, watching her face process those words and he could feel her inner "dere-dere" come out and a little thought bubble on top of her that screamed, " _W-WE'RE FRIENDS?"_ with little blushes around it.

"Izumi-chan I visit you everyday since you got admitted, I'll be really sad if you didn't consider me as a friend by now," Takao whined playfully.

"D-Don't be r-ridiculous o-of course I think of you as a -" Izumi stopped and narrowed her eyes at the cheeky-looking teen. _This asshole_ …

Takao's smirk widened. Oh, she was just _too easy_ to rile up.

"Stop teasing me, I want to die," Izumi scowled darkly. As darkly as she could, of course. She looked less like someone Takao should be terrified of and more like a very aggressive pomeranian. All bark and no bite and fluffy, fluffy, fluffy. Ah, the perks of having a tiny friend...

"Hai hai Izu-chan I'll stop~," Takao relented placatingly and moved away to give her space, unintentionally drawing her sight to the little cactus he left near her bedside table.

Izumi's eyebrows furrowed. "Is that supposed to be get well soon flowers or something?"

"Nah, pretty sure that's just your lucky item today," Takao said offhandedly, and then smirked when Izumi stared off despairingly at the space in the corner of her bed where Midorima's "gifts" had started piling up over the days. She didn't want to throw them away because honestly, it was still pretty sweet that Midorima still brought her stuff even when he aggressively accentuated the fact that he was "not pleased with her" for "withholding information from him."

("Trust me, that's just Shin-chan being Shin-chan," Takao deadpanned, "he acts like he doesn't care but one time during practice I called him a dumbass and he tried to act all aloof and said that he didn't care and the whole time during practice he ignored all my passes until Miyaji-senpai shouted at him and I said sorry. Trust me. Shin-chan cares and sometimes he cares a little too much.")

Izumi smiled a little dopily at the gift sitting on her bedside table, mind already thinking up names for the little cactus. A beat later she felt a flash of serendipity hit her and proclaimed.

"...I'm going to call that one Midorima."

Takao choked and immediately exploded into an uncontrollable fit of giggles when he looked at the cactus, then at Izumi's pleased expression, and then back to the cactus.

"P-Pfft Izumi-chan what is up with you and naming everything cute after Shin-chan? First you call the cat Shin-tan and now you're calling the cactus Midorima?" Takao cackled and ruffled the girl's hair gently with his wrist. "What, you got a crush on him, Izu-chan?" he asked, curious and half-questioning. He had always wondered how Izumi always referred to his tsundere teammate so personally _\- without even directly meeting him -_ when it literally took him a _week_ , face-to-face, before Midorima allowed Takao to address him as a friend. He was a little jealous no lie but Shin-chan was Shin-chan after all. And Izumi…

(Well. She was a riot. That's what she was. If Midorima was a tsundere on steroids then Izumi was a tsundere divided by two to the power of epic recklessness with a dash of ADHD and lactose intolerance. Takao really needed to stop picking up stray tsunderes in his high school life Christ…)

Surprisingly Izumi didn't blush but stared at him dead in the eye with an expression of bland confusion on her face. "That's silly Kazunari. We've never even met face-to-face, why would I have a crush on him? And I have a reasoning for naming them after Shintarou."

 _Eh, Shintarou? Since when did Shin-chan allow someone to call him by his first name?_

Izumi pointed at the fat, bespectacled green cat in the corner of her bed, "That's Shin-tan. Shin-tan is cute and curious like a cat. Shin-tan represents Shintarou's 'dere-dere' side and for how needy he is sometimes. 'Shin-tan' is Shintarou's soft side." She then gestured at the potted plant next to her with a smirk, "This is Midorima. Midorima is prickly on the outside but he's actually not that bad on the inside. It's his 'tsun-tsun' side. 'Midorima' represents Shintarou trying to act cool and tough but inside he's just mush."

Takao listened to the smaller girl's explanation with fascination because _damn_ that sounded just like Midorima. Even if Takao had a three week advantage over her she had accurately if not scarily enough managed to deduce Midorima's character archetype just by _messaging_ him. She could give his Hawk Eye a run for its money in terms of observation...

"Wow Izu-chan you sound like some FBI agent or something. Like those people who deduce who's the killer by really simple stuff that none of us think of," Takao said in awe, "You're like the next Sherlock Holmes! Izu-lock Holmes. I could be your Watson! Kazunari Watson."

Izumi giggled at her brunette friend's theatrics, not even realizing he had popped an apple slice in her mouth while she was distracted. "Is Shintarou Molly then? Or Mycroft?" she played along. Takao "hmm'ed" while he adjusted her to sit on his lap, taking advantage of her inquisitive stare on him to do so. He carefully perched his chin on top of her hair while deliberating on Shintarou's potential role as a Sherlock character.

"I think...Shin-chan is Jamie Moriarty. Moriarty Shintarou." _Also known as Irene Adler, Sherlock's dead lover_ , Takao hummed innocently.

Izumi whipped her head at him and gave him a look of amused incredulity, "I honestly can't see Shintarou as a criminal mastermind. I doubt he's that pretty in real life too." Damn, completely missed the point. That was Izumi for you.

Takao threw a grin at her, "Eh~ do you wanna see him to confirm it then? I got a picture of him right here -"

"W-Wait, don't show me," Izumi stuttered frantically, grabbing onto Takao's wrist so he couldn't retrieve his phone from his pocket. Takao raised a questioning eyebrow at her. She was always nagging at Midorima to come visit her but suddenly she didn't want to see him?

A pink blush dusted her pale cheeks as she tugged weakly at the edge of his sleeve, "I-I want to see him in person. D-Don't show me photos of him yet!" The small girl looked up at the brunette pleadingly, her serious brown eyes gone wide with hopefulness, "Please?"

Takao couldn't help blushing himself at his pastel-haired friend's innocent reaction. She always rotated between serious and hysterical. There was no in between. From all the days he'd spent with her he'd never seen her show an expression so _pure_ and _earnest_ around him.

"I-Izu-chan, didn't you always say you wanted to see him?" Takao couldn't help asking.

Izumi nodded frantically, blush darkening. "I-I do. I think he's strange and he's really fascinating as a person. B-But," she smiled shyly, "That's why I want our first meeting to be really special. It's been less than a week but I feel strangely connected to him." Izumi's expression quickly changed from shyness to confusion, "I think it's really fucking weird to be honest. Is it even possible to be attached to someone you've never met in real life in a short span of time? It's not even like love at first sight or anything, it's more like…"

 _Kindreds. They're like kindreds_ , Takao thought warily, feeling sick. Even as he considered this he couldn't help but force down the twisted churning in his gut while watching her speak so adoringly of Midorima. Like come on! Midorima didn't even visit her _once_ while she was hospitalized! The coward, going off on how it "wasn't the right time" and "Oha-Asa says it's not fated yet" and like -

 _Oh_.

 _OH._

 _Holy freaking shit_.

Takao didn't know whether to laugh or cry. What were the _odds_ that those two could be so weirdly alike - ? It was like something straight out of an Oha-Asa inspired soap opera -

" - But I'm really thankful for our first meeting, Kazunari," Izumi said softly, voice full of happiness and prompting Takao to snap out of his thoughts and look down on her with no small amount of surprise. Wow, was she fucking _glowing_? Takao felt his heart race. Shit, this was _not_ supposed to happen - he was supposed to be the one teasing and egging her on, not _her_!

(Well, looks like the tables have turned. Ho Ho Ho.)

"I've never had someone approach me before and befriend me so easily, it's a nice change from the apathy and the stares," Izumi explained casually, the brunette a little jarred by the lack of sadness and bitterness in her tone, "I'm really indebted to you, Kazu-kun. T-Thank you."

Takao felt a flash of warmth erupt through his chest at Izumi's heartfelt words. Her eyes were sparkling when she stared up at him, fingers now relaxed around his wrist and brushing against it shyly - almost like a gentle caress. Damn, was she always this cute when she smiled? Holy shit he should take a picture. Shit shit shit her face was so close to his and her lips were pink and pretty - _refrain, refrain, Takao Kazunari! Change the subject, change the goddamn subject - !_

"N-No problem, Izu-chan. Anyways remember when I talked to you for the first time? That was freaking _hilarious_ -" Takao felt a hand clamp over his mouth and Izumi's suddenly adorably frenzied stare as he was about to retell their first meeting. "That was _ages_ ago and I _**swear to god**_ it should be illegal to have eyes like yours, Kazunari!" Izumi whispered-shouted despite being the only two people in the room, "Honestly it's been five fucking days and I feel like I've been through a meat grinder. What the fuck."

"At least you have the handsome Takao Kazunari-sama to accompany you right?" Takao said flirtily, removing her hand from his face and shakily continuing to cut little bunny apples. From the corner of his eye Takao could see Izumi getting distracted watching Takao carve the rest of the apple, eyes sparkling with fascination.

 _Whew, at least we got that lovey-dovey mood out of the way,_ Takao mentally patted himself on the back despite the fact that his ears were still red from Izumi's words. _Shin-chan will get moody with me when he hears this~._

"Here, say ahh~!" Takao picked up an apple slice with his fingers, ready to feed the tiny girl. Izumi immediately put her palms out, her eyes sparkling intensively and ready to receive her apple. Takao raised an eyebrow, "Come here if you want it Izu-chan~."

The blue-haired girl pouted and tilted her head backwards, eyelashes fluttering shut and lips parted slightly. The black-haired teen gulped and - unknowingly - flushed. _This is kind of wrong_...Takao sweatdropped as he popped the apple slice into Izumi's mouth.

 _Speaking of wrong_...

* * *

 **...Aaand cliffhanger.**

 **Next chapter will be a flashback! How Takao and Izumi met! Also I hope there will be more reviews in this one. I understand if none of you guys have anything to say but a little encouragement goes a long way! Thanks to those who follow and favorite this story!**


	4. First Meeting

**Author's Note:** HOLY SHIT guys you have no idea how happy it made me to see your reviews! I was deadass crying at 3am in the morning you had no idea. Keep them coming! They gave me a lot of encouragement to write this chapter! Also I would like to say I was inspired by _**Divine Will**_ to write this story. It's a MidorimaxOC and it's so cute it's diabetic. Go read it!

Also, _**this timeline is set before Shuutoku first got defeated by Seirin**. _Sorry for not clearing that up in the beginning!

* * *

 _ **How To Text A Tsundere  
** by Newt Is My SHank_

* * *

 _ **Flashback**_

* * *

"Why am I popular," Takao pouted internally as he skipped through spam message after spam message from several group chats he didn't even recall joining, a reminder from the Shuutoku basketball team captain Ootsubo that there was going to be an early emergency meeting later today, and an all caps threat from Miyaji telling the "second string punks not to complain" and that he'll "hit Midorima with a pineapple if he didn't reply!" Takao contemplated slipping the blonde some alcohol in his water bottle so he could chill the fuck out one day.

Hm. Miyaji might actually act out those threats if he did that. Never mind. Maybe he should do it to Shin-chan?

The last few messages were mostly private messages. Three from relatively cute girls who probably were gonna ask about Midorima (" _What do girls see in you anyway, Shin-chan? Tell me your secrets!" Takao protested in mild disbelief one day during lunch break when a girl he was secretly crushing on came up to him and asked him if Midorima was single. Midorima had simply fixed his glasses and pinned an annoyed glare at Takao, "I do not appreciate you hinting that I lack charisma, Takao. And I simply follow Oha-Asa. And proper eating habits. You should do the same." "Aw Shin-chan I wasn't hinting that - WAIT WHAT ARE YOU CALLING ME -" "Ah, class is in three minutes, we should get going." "HEY GET BACK HERE SHIN-CHAN WHAT THE FU -"_ ). Did every girl who met Midorima just deadass ignored the ridiculous lucky item the tsundere brought everywhere with him? Perks of being tall and handsome he guessed. Ugh.

Either that or those girls were just megane fetishists. Yikes.

 _Diiiiiiing!_

A notification appeared at the top of Takao's screen and he raised an eyebrow when he saw the user ID. _Shin-chan?_ Since when did the megane ever text Takao for anything? Panic frantically seized Takao's heart. Shit, was Midorima about to die or something? Did he get kidnapped? Robbed? _**Ran over by a car?**_ What was he supposed to tell the senpais -

* * *

 **To:** Takao Kazunari  
 **From:** Midorima Shintarou

 **Subject:** I will be absent toda

* * *

Takao,

Cancer is last today. Lucky item unattainable. Currently in a bed with the cold.

 _ **\- Midorima**_

* * *

Takao deadpanned at the short but sweet email. Of course he'd have to be the unfortunate messenger to relay this message to the senpais. Still, his " **SHIN-CHAN-PANIC-ALERT** " levels dropped significantly and he decided to send Midorima a gushy reply, sniggering at the tsundere response he knew was going to come.

* * *

 **To:** Midorima Shintarou  
 **From:** Takao Kazunari

 **Subject:** ( ˘ ³˘)

* * *

GET WELL SOON SHIN-CHAN! LOVE YOU XOXO FROM YOUR FAVORITE PARTNER! SMOOO━━(´з(ε｀)━━OOCH

 _ **\- Kazu**_ _**ﾟ**_ _ **°˖* ᕕ( ᐛ )ᕗ**_

* * *

 _Diiiiiing~! Diiiing~!_

* * *

 **To:** Takao Kazunari  
 **From:** Midorima Shintarou

 **Subject:** Die,

* * *

Takao.

 _ **\- Midorima**_

* * *

 **To:** Takao Kazunari  
 **From:** Midorima Shintarou

 **Subject:** Re: Die

I suppose I will have to make do with you, even if it is not necessary for me to have one. Do not disappoint me.

 _ **\- Midorima**_

* * *

Takao smiled exasperatedly at the tsundere-like response. While touched that Midorima was slowly coming into terms (albeit _really_ slowly) that Takao was shaping up to be a reliable partner, he was just too emotionally stunted that the term "being honest with his feelings" was practically nonexistent in his dictionary.

"HEY SETTLE DOWN YOU BRATS! Takao-kun, I see you with your phone! Turn it off before I confiscate it!" Suzuki-sensei hollored from the front row and threw a piece of chalk at the Hawk Eye boy's forehead. Takao felt it bounce off his head and hit the overhead projector, which alternately changed its trajectory and landed back into the aggressive teacher's hand. Wow, Suzuki-sensei should really try playing ping pong.

"Maaaa~ sorry sensei! I was texting my cute girlfriend so don't hit on me," Takao responded cheekily while rubbing his forehead. The class erupted into chuckles, a few girls sent him smiles and even the corner of Suzuki-sensei's lips twitched momentarily before the pseudo Spartan rolled his eyes and turned away. Takao grinned, humor always diffused any heated situation. Especially when it came from Overall Nice Popular Guy, Takao Kazunari!

(Huh, maybe that's why he couldn't get a girlfriend. Was that why girls flocked to Midorima? Because he was " _ **mysterious**_ "? Eeek.)

"Okay so before I was so _rudely_ interrupted -" Takao snorted "- I would like to announce that a new student will be joining our class today. She recently transferred from Kyoto and I hope that we can all make her feel welcome here." Takao perked up at the announcement and scanned the new transfer standing next to Suzuki-sensei. It was rare in itself to receive new students in the third week of school, much less a new student in a _college prep class_. Murmurs were already circulating around the room. Damn, where did this chick _come_ from to get admitted here? Shuutoku's academia was no joke - they were amongst the top schools in Tokyo after all. Even Takao had to pull a few all nighters to get into Shuutoku's top class.

Takao eyed the new transfer with curiosity. She was short, possibly around the 145-150cm range, with the Shuutoku sailor uniform making her look younger than she should. Light, borderline pale skin. Petite, but not skinny or toned. She looked like the type that didn't exercise much but ate small to balance it out. What set her apart from the rest of the students (but probably not the Kiseki no Sedai) was her pastel blue hair that was cut short into a fluffy chin-length bob. _Cute_ , Takao thought privately to himself. Her eyes were a startling shade of grey that unsettled the Hawk Eye player for some reason. He could immediately sense something was off about her, but couldn't tell what. There was a strange, serious yet oddly playful aura surrounding her that confused the brunette.

Overall she was a moderately cute girl. Not conventionally cute, like girls who styled their hair and were peppy and energetic and wore thigh high stockings (aka girls who Takao usually tried to flirt with and failed to do so because he was such an affably nice guy that said girls would friendzone him on the spot real quick). More like "you would notice her immediately in a crowd" and "take a second glance but that's it" kind of cute. However her piercing grey eyes and poker face severely cancelled out whatever cuteness appeal she had.

"My name is Ayase Izumi," the girl said firmly, then paused and appeared to be lost in thought for a few seconds. A beat or two passed before she added in a dramatic whisper, "that's it."

Takao sweatdropped and nearly fell off his chair from the poor execution of anticipation. Then an excited grin slowly travelled up his face and his shoulders shook slightly in silent laughter. Oh, she was going to be a fucking _riot_.

"Ooookay that was...great. Ayase-kun you can take your seat next to - oh is Midorima-kun absent? - okay you can go take the seat next to that empty seat. Takao-kun raise your hand so she knows where it is," Takao waved his hand lazily to signal to the new girl to walk in his direction, and in that instant his eyes met hers and he took the chance to flash her his trademark **Charming Cheshire Shin-chan Approved Smile**.

Normally whoever he used this on would immediately feel more at ease and relaxed around him, which would lead Takao to strike up an easy conversation with them. A normal reaction from them would be to smile back or say hi, or if they were particularly shy they'd look away quickly and stutter and blush (oh stop it Kazunari you charmer).

Instead he got an extremely confused look from the girl who at the moment looked akin to a puppy that lost its owner. For a moment Takao's mind went blank and malfunctioned because this was _**not**_ a reaction he was expecting. The girl then steadfastly ignored Takao by walking towards her designated seat next to Midorima.

"Okay now that's settled, let's get on with the administrative work today…" Takao tuned out the announcements for the sake of his sanity and his thoughts immediately went to something that could entertain him.

Normally he'd be aggressively texting Midorima, and Midorima would 30% either totally tell him to shut up and ignore his texts and 70% of the time he'd likely give in to Takao's persistence and they'd quietly discuss school-related or basketball-related stuff until homeroom was over and lessons started. After that Takao wouldn't even bother trying to touch Midorima since said megane would put all his focus on classes until break time. But since his resident tsundere husbando wasn't around….

Takao was bored.

Insufferably bored.

So. Fucking. Bored.

Now normally Takao was a pretty decent guy. He'd never use his special eye ability outside of the court. Never once used it to spy on someone or cheat on tests. One of the first year second string players asked him after practice whether he could use Hawk Eye at a sauna to spy on girls and Miyaji overheard and made the poor idiot run fifty laps around the school for asking such a stupid question.

(Technically it could. _Technically_. Not like he'd ever try. He'd happily like to preserve his life from Scary Upperclassman #1 Miyaji Kiyoshi, thank you very much.)

But it wouldn't harm to try now, would it? Takao hummed to himself, glancing to the side of the class. It was harder since he'd never actively tried it off court but he could roughly see what the entire class was doing while Suzuki-sensei was rambling. Some were busy reading their textbooks and writing down notes, most were actively listening to Suzuki-sensei, then there were those like him who were so bored out of their minds that resorted to staring off into space. Typical Japanese school life.

The brunette side-eyed to the new girl beside him, studiously taking down notes of whatever Suzuki-sensei was saying. She was tucking a strand of her hair behind her ear, revealing an expanse of her pale, unblemished, soft neck. _Woah...cool your hormones Kazunari Jesus Christ_.

What was interesting though was the mobile phone perched on her lap. So in most Japanese high schools, you weren't allowed to use your phone during school hours. Like at all. So the girl was already breaching One Hell of A Rule already. While the blue-haired girl was mostly writing stuff down on her notebook, notes and such, she'd occasionally lose focus and start scrolling through something on her mobile phone. Takao was visibly confused by the amount of memes she was going through. Hmm, she didn't seem like the type. She gave off the air Midorima normally did: the studious, scholar student archetype. Aka a Total Nerd.

Takao faintly recognized the app that she was using - which was Tumblr. Now Takao tried Tumblr once and the first thing he saw was furry yaoi porn and he vowed to himself that he would never reinstall that damn app ever again.

Izumi...that was her name right? Izumi suddenly gasped as if inspiration hit her and she quickly exited the app and started frantically typing something Google.

Interest spurred, Takao tilted his chin slightly to get a closer look and nearly burst out into hysterics at what she was typing.

 _ **how to eat a chocolate cornet correctly?**_

PFFFFFFT. Holy crap that was some Lucky Star shit. And what on earth was she thinking to ask that question? Had she never had a cornet before? Did she get hungry? Takao clamped a hand over his mouth and laughed as quietly as he could without giving himself away. Her reaction beforehand just made it more interesting. What was she thinking before typing that? Did she suddenly saw something that made her go _Holy Shit I need to know how to eat a chocolate cornet_?

Izumi started typing again.

 _ **does the megalodon shark exist**_

Eh? Megalodon? What was that? The bluenette then clicked on images of this Megalodon and Takao looked on impressively at the sheer size of the shark. Largest shark in the world. Hmm, cool. He learnt something new everyday.

 _ **world trigger cancelled ashihara**_

 _What how_ \- Takao wasn't even going to ask how those two searches immediately got linked to each other. He had heard of the manga World Trigger before though. He wanted to check it out but never got the time around to do so. But apparently according to Izumi's search it was on hiatus? Hmm, maybe he should stop by Akihabara during one of his free days...

 _ **why does everyone hate hufflepuffs**_

 _Hufflepuffs are great!_ Takao thought, offended. Well at least he knew now she was a Potter fan. Maybe he'd rope her into a Harry Potter-related conversation one day. Would be fun to hang out with another fellow fan. That is if she even wanted to...

Izumi started typing again. Takao flinched at the search result.

 _ **how to tell your seatmate that you know he's staring at you**_

Takao whipped his head up at the girl, eyes wide and looking like a deer in headlights. Izumi raised a judging eyebrow at him and he swore she saw a flash of insane mischief cross her eyes. Takao's jaw dropped slightly. He had never once been caught staring before and he couldn't help but mouth out the words, _how did you know?_ at her. Izumi smiled - _holy shit she had a nice smile_ \- and mouthed back, _I'm very observant._

 _Yikes, gotta watch myself then,_ Takao thought. He then used his index fingers to make a curved "smile" gesture on his face, _You have a pretty smile, Ayase-chan_. It took the girl awhile to understand and when she did her entire face exploded in red. Takao clamped his mouth shut before he could start spluttering at the bluenette's unexpectedly cute reaction. He could feel her staring incredulously at him and the Shuutoku regular simply winked and waved back at her.

Izumi stared at him for a moment before frantically writing something on her notebook. When she was done she flashed the notebook at him: _**What is your name? If you don't mind**_.

 _ **Takao Kazunari! Nice to meetcha,**_ Takao wrote back in return, grinning at the exchange. Not the conventional way of talking to someone, but this method worked too, _**Can I call you Izu-chan?**_

If possible, her face went even redder and she resorted to hiding her face behind her notebook and Takao was 132% sure steam was coming out of her ears. His lungs felt like dying from trying to hold back his laughter. In response, the bluenette slowly nodded at him from her seat, determination flashing in her eyes, like _damn right you're calling me that cutesy nickname!_

Before Takao could answer back, Suzuki-sensei grabbed everyone's attention by suddenly writing something on the chalkboard. Immediately their focus went back on the teacher who after finished writing "CLASS EMAIL EXCHANGE" turned back to his students with a maniacal smirk on his face. "Alright, since it's the start of the third week, us teachers decided to give you all a graded project!"

"So as a special homeroom assignment, you all will be picking one of your classmates for a class email exchange!" he smacked his palm next to the big letters on the chalkboard. "Everyone has to pick a person from class - I would recommend you to pick someone you've never talked to before - and exchange emails with each other. Once you've picked partners please tell me and I will write your name and your partner's name down. The aim of this project is to improve class relationships and hopefully all of you will get to experience knowing someone out of your clique and friendship circle."

"The requirement to pass is to answer a list of questions that I will announce every Monday, and these questions have to be answered by your partners every week. After you and your partner answer those questions you can feel free to do whatever you'd like afterwards. At best I would like everyone to at least message each other once everyday, but the basic requirement is answering the weekly questions. At the end of the semester we will collate all the messages for a public showing and we'll pick out a few exchanges to do a psychological analysis on. Alright?"

Excited murmurs erupted all over the classroom, a few of them complaining about how bothersome and useless it sounded but the majority of the students seemed particularly excited to do something so unorthodox. And it was a free grade too, which was the biggest plus point. Nice. Several hands shot up in inquiry of the assignment.

"Sensei! Is it okay if we don't reveal our names for the public showing?"

"Maaa, don't worry. When you send in your chat log I'll do some editing and blur out all the names and the identity giveaway parts so you guys can go nuts on what you wanna chat about."

"Sensei! How is this assignment graded? Do we get higher grades the more we message each other?"

"Oi! That's a secret. Don't pout at me, Yamada, sit down!"

"Sensei~ can I partner with you? You're my best friend~."

"Don't act cheeky with me, Saito. I know I'm attractive but that's beside the point! The aim of this project is to get to know more about someone you're not normally acquainted with -"

 _Well kind of sucks considering I know everyone,_ Takao admitted proudly to himself, _even the class tsundere_. Takao cackled to himself. If he could be friends with the most standoffish person in the classroom, getting to know everyone else would be a piece of cake. _Oh, but it'll be interesting if I ask her though,_ Takao side-eyed the new girl again, _She seems like the Shin-chan type, all serious and aloof but - HOLY SHIT SHE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE JUST KILLED HER DOG._

Indeed, once Izumi heard this announcement that she had to socialize, all color promptly drained from her face and she wore the most depressing display of despair Takao had ever seen on a human being. Immediately he scribbled something frantically on his notebook and showed it to her, _**R u ok Izu-chan?**_

She turned to look at him with sudden bags under eyes and whatever energy she had before the announcement had died and she shook her head very slowly, mouthing, _I want to die._

Takao cringed at the statement, he quickly wrote back, _**You don't wanna partner with anyone?**_

Izumi nodded, then spoke very softly and seriously that it surprised the Hawk Eye player, "I'm not exactly a popular target. I tend to give off a bad vibe. No one necessarily wants to pair with me. Look around you, you'll notice."

 _Look around me? What does she -_ Takao stopped to observe the entire classroom. Already people were getting up and talking about who they wanted to pair with. A few already paired up, most of them deciding to go with friends who weren't very close or people they spoke with occasionally. It was the third week of school after all, most of the students would've already spoken to each other at least once - _oh._

When you're a new student, you have a certain amount of novelty to the other students. During that period of time, a lot of students would approach you and ask you about different things and you'd generally be very popular for the first few days of school. _So why wasn't anyone coming over to talk to Izumi?_ Considering the nature of the assignment, Izumi would be a prime target to "get to know", she would be the _first person_ people would naturally want to go to. But why wasn't she - ?

Izumi sent him a sort of regretful ' _You see it now?'_ smile. "People tend to get put off by me for some reason. So they'll avoid me. Though you could blame it on me not wanting to socialize too," Izumi shrugged as she leaned back in her chair, before angling her face towards the befuddled Takao, "You're the first to talk to me. I'm really happy. So thanks."

Takao wanted to protest that she shouldn't be _thanking him_ for talking to her. That just felt so...surreal. Was this how Midorima felt before he met Takao? The green-haired shooter didn't talk to anyone on his first day of school and was practically a loner - given it _was_ the first day and everyone was probably very nervous on their first day - but he likely might have stayed a loner if Takao didn't approach him and tell him that he'd make Midorima acknowledge him during their first training.

Takao stared at the nonchalant girl who decided to return to writing in her notebook. Immediately his heart filled with confusion and at the same time _annoyance_. Not towards her, but towards their classmates. Wasn't it proper of Japanese culture to make a transfer feel welcome in a new environment? He wondered how many times she had to go through this cold treatment. Sure she gave off a silent, serious, unapproachable aura but were people so unobservant and lazy that they refused to even _try_ to look past that exterior?

 _Screw it. I'm going to ask her._

"Hey, Izu-chan, do you want to -"

Before Takao could get his words out, an arm slung around his shoulder and violently pulled him up and a very loud, obnoxious voice calling his name excitedly, "YO TAKAO! YOU DON'T HAVE A PARTNER YET RIGHT? LET'S BE PARTNERS!"

"O-Oi Yamada hold on wait -" but the aggressive hazel-haired boy didn't listen and took Takao's lack of answer as an affirmative and before Takao could even stop him he'd been spun around and dragged to the group of laughing guys at the back of the class who seemed to be enjoying seeing Takao getting manhandled into their social circle. "Hey! Guess who's my partner guys!" "Yoo Takao, your friend not here today? "Oooh sup Kazunari, guess you're not gonna be pairing with Midorima huh?" _Well, even if I was you assholes didn't let me get a word in -_

Takao laughed half-heartedly at their banter, managing to pull off a joking demeanor without coming off as too fake. He quickly glanced back at Izumi, who was still writing in her notebook, expression clear of any emotion. He eventually did catch her eye and he quickly mouthed back an apologetic, _Sorry!_

Instead of a sad smile or maybe a wave of dismissal, she simply gave him the same confused 'puppy-lost-owner' look she gave him earlier, and started replying with a _Why_ when the tall looming back of their homeroom teacher blocked his view. Immediately he was being pulled back into the conversation by his apparent new partner, Yamada, who started talking about the new Avengers movie that Takao might have been very interested to talk about an hour ago but he could barely focus on now due to his guilt on leaving Izumi alone with whoever got left out.

He watched on quietly in the corner of his eye as Suzuki-sensei started discussing something with the blue-haired girl, the teacher's face expressing mild amusement and at the same time exasperation, and even gave the bluenette a bop to the head with a paper fan. _Where did he even get that - ?_

The Shuutoku regular could make out a couple of words from their conversation. Things like: " _Come on Izumi-chan, give it a shot"_ , some low mumbles from the blue-haired girl, a vexed sigh from the homeroom teacher, a very pathetic-sounding " _I'm sorry"_ from Izumi, then right after that apology she said something that made Suzuki-sensei laugh, and Takao _swore_ he saw the normally eccentric homeroom teacher fondly ruffle the girl's affably fluffy hair.

"Fine, I'll see what I can do for you," Suzuki-sensei sighed, then spotted Takao eavesdropping them and the brunette felt a fucking SHIVER run up his spine at the positively shark-like grin the dark-haired teacher sent his way. "Takao~ come here!" Suzuki-sensei ordered cheerfully. Now while the teacher was fucking scary, Yamada's obnoxious voice near Takao's ear was grating on his goddamn nerves so he reluctantly took that chance to escape Yamada's embrace and make his way over to the duo.

"Welcome back, Takao-kun," Izumi greeted him with a smile. Suzuki-sensei appeared surprised for a moment, glancing at the bluenette and then at the mildly confused brunette. "I see you're acquainted with Takao-kun then, that's great!" the scary demeanor around the homeroom teacher dissassipated and he looked at Izumi with a very pleased expression, like a proud father who just saw his baby daughter walk for the first time. He returned his attention to Takao, "So Takao, do you have a partner yet?"

Takao gave a half-grimace smile and scratched the back of his head awkwardly, "Yeah. Sorry. I wanted to ask but -" the brunette did a thumbs up and gestured at the raucous boys at the back, "- I kind of got stolen away before I could ask you. Sorry Izu-chan."

" _Oh_ , so that's why," Izumi's eyes went wide, then instantly playful, "It's alright. I was surprised you'd even consider someone like me, Mr. Popular Takao-kun."

"You were my first choice," Takao answered back confidently, a familiar mischievous smirk gracing his features, "Why not a cute girl than a noisy guy?"

"OOOOOOKAY no flirting in front of me, thank you very much!" Suzuki-sensei blocked their conversation with his paper fan, wielding it in between the two teens, "Now Takao-kun, do you know anyone else who likely doesn't have a partner?"

Takao contemplated it while briefly scanning the classroom. It seemed that mostly everyone had found a suitable partner already, many of them pairs even Takao himself didn't really expect. He was about to suggest the class pervert, Hidataka, but a part of him felt repulsed to leave his new female friend with the _class pervert_ of all people. Like. Common sense much?

A light bulb flickered in Takao's head. _Holy shit_.

"No way. Shin-chan?" Takao couldn't help but grin. Oh, this was _epic_. "Oh my god, Izumi-chan's totally going to pair up with Shin-chan, isn't she?"

Suzuki-sensei eventually caught on and he had to cover his mouth and look away so the blue-haired teen couldn't see him _losing his fucking shit_. "Oh my god what were the _odds_ ," Takao wheezed before turning to the bewildered girl who looked half curious and half done with their conversation. "Izumi-chan, I'd love to break the news to you. But you're very likely gonna be pairing up with the most _eccentric_ person you will ever meet," Takao accentuated confidently, "Like. _Really_ eccentric. Be prepared. Also what's your blood type?"

"AB," Izumi blinked.

Takao shut his eyes in attempt to recall whether Blood AB types were compatible with Blood B types ( _being Midorima's friend meant that you had to be extremely flexible. And when I mean flexibile I mean researching on who Midorima is compatible with, listening to the Oha-Asa broadcast every morning, learning the importance of blood type compatibility etc._ ). They likely were. Takao grabbed her by the shoulders, surprising her, and told her very firmly with a frantic light in his eyes, "Izumi-chan, this is very important. When you message Shin-chan for the first time, you _have_ to mention your blood type. Ok? Even if your horoscope isn't compatible you _have_ to tell him your blood type, or he won't even bother replying to you."

Izumi pursed her lips in mild scepticism, "Takao-kun…are you setting me up with some religious astrology fanatic or something?"

 _You are closer to the truth than you think, heheheh._

"Absolutely," Takao replied, then smiled, and this time it was genuine, "By the way. Izumi-chan is cute so I'll let you call me Kazu, okay?"

* * *

 _ **Flashback End**_

* * *

"Kazunariiiiiiiiiii," Takao blinked when a tiny hand passed over his face, and looked down to see Izumi's inquisitive stare on him, "are you daydreaming?"

"Yup," Takao replied, then beamed down at her, "I was daydreaming about when we first met, Izu-chan!"

Izumi spluttered and started frantically beating him with her fists. Except she was small and weak so really it was just her unharmed hand harmlessly whacking Takao on the chest. _So cute_ ~~~

"Would it kill you to stop remembering that," she asked pleadingly, "oh my god, how was I supposed to react to someone telling me I had a nice smile? _How_? I've never heard a compliment like that directed to me in my life!" Takao smirked sultrily and brought his hand up to lightly cup her chin, adjusting her vision so she was staring up directly into his own blue eyes. "I'll give you as many compliments as you like if it gets you to smile, okay Izu-chan?" Takao promised, meeting her curious grey gaze with his own, "But I think I really like seeing you _blush_ more." With that he blew air directly onto her face and he relished in her high-pitched squeak as she violently pushed him away to bat aggressively at her reddened face, " _KAZUNARI ARE YOU FUCKING SERIOUS?"_

"About complimenting you so you smile more often? Yep! So is the blushing thing," the brunette teased and he couldn't help but chuckle at the indignant finger Izumi was pointing at him, embarrassment showing bright and clear on her face, "Kazunari, you _teasing son of a bitch -"_

"Woaahhh, language!" Takao chastised, leading her to growl loudly and flip him off.

"You are absolute dead meat once I find a way to tease - Kazunari, your phone is ringing."

The ID _Shin-chan_ flashed onto the screen and Takao picked it up faster than he ever picked up anything in his life. Even girls. "Yosh~ Shin-chan what's up?"

Immediately after he saw Izumi slap a hand over her mouth, clearly not wanting to give away what her voice sounded like. _Seriously, these two_ , Takao thought. "Haaah? You want me to pick you up from _Kaijou_ \- maa maa fine. How was the match anyway? Who wo - whoa okay yeah I'm coming. Yeah, I'll bring the damn rickshaw you ass, yeah after you LEFT ME IN A TRAFFIC JAM. Yeah, yeah, you wanna say hi to Izu-chan? Okay wai - WOW YOU PIECE OF SHIT DON'T JUST HANG UP ON ME." Izumi watched in bewilderment as Takao pouted and tossed the phone very gracefully back into his bag and started getting up.

"Sorry Izu-chan, duty calls," Takao said, clearly depressed to have to go back under the hot sun in a _stupid rickshaw_ , "I'm gonna go pick up Shin-chan from Kaijou."

"Ah, explains why he told me not to bother him for an hour," Izumi nodded, then grinned happily, "Hey! That means I can go bother him now!"

Takao chuckled, "You go do that, Izu-chan." Without a moment's hesitation, he leaned down and wrapped his arms very carefully around the injured girl, and gave her body a warm, comforting squeeze, much to her surprise. Clearly she wasn't expecting a hug, but in an attempt to appreciate the gesture she lay her uninjured arm over the player's back and smiled. He smelt very faintly of shampoo and allspice. "See you tomorrow then?"

Takao moved away with a wink and a snap of his fingers, "You gotcha. Any dessert requests, Izu-chan?"

Izumi waved him off with a grin, "Something dairy-free, or else Shintarou will bitch to me about it in five whole paragraphs."

Takao continued laughing even on his way out. Guess he'd have to ask Midorima for suggestions again.

* * *

 _ **Aaaaand that's it**_ **. Had a lot of fun writing this chapter because you all sent me really great reviews and I was so happy I completed this at 6am in the morning! Hope you all like it! Please drop more reviews to encourage me~**

 _Also I hope you all enjoyed some Japanese high school commentary. I researched about the culture of Japanese high schools and had a lot of fun with it! Also for reference, this is right after the Seirin vs Kaijou practice match, where Midorima went to spy on his old teammates and left Takao in a traffic jam XD Classic!_

Also, if you have any suggestions on what topics Midorima and Ayase should talk about, leave them in a comment! I won't necessarily take them but if they seem interesting enough I'll put them in the fic!


	5. Jealousy Is A Bitch

_**How To Text A Tsundere  
** by Newt Is My Shank_

* * *

 **To:** Midorima Shintarou  
 **From:** Ayase Izumi

 **Subject:** hospital food sucks :/

* * *

Shintarou~

I bet you guys are having a great lunch now! That's probably the only thing I miss about school lmao. Japanese lunches are fucking amazing like. I heard Shuutoku has this famous tantanmen they sell only on the last Friday of every month. I heard it's so good that Buddha comes out of the sky to congratulate you on graduating.

Okay maybe Suzuki-sensei was messing with me on that one. But still. I want KATSUDON. RAMEN. YAKISOBA BREAD. GYUUDON. YAKITORI. HAMBURG STEAAAAAAK! Shintarou, I think I'll really die eating hospital food. I don't know if it's just the meds but everything tastes like cardboard. I think it's the meds. And it's really hard to eat with this stupid cast! I thank my mom in every alternate universe I'm in that she gives me tasty food from home every morning. GOD BLESS.

Also I heard how hectic your schedule is from Kazunari. How the hell are you coping with club activities, InterHigh AND incoming tests? Are you like some God or something? Ahhh I lowkey honestly wanna go see your basketball practice one day. I watched an old NBA match that Kazunari recommended to me the other day and it was SO COOL? Like how do you even like. Aim. And get the ball in from the three-pointer line? YOU'D HAVE TO HAVE LIKE AN ARM STRENGTH OF BUDDHA TO DO THAT. I'M SHOOK. What position do you play by the way?

Ooh lemme guess. Point guard? Center? Shooting Guard? I'm taking a wild guess and saying it's either one of those three. They seem to fit your personality pretty well. The point guard because they're normally leaders right? And center because most of them I've seen are tall. And shooting guard because I heard from Takao that you score the most on the team.

Also I've been revising for the stupid tests, just to let you know. I want to die. Why can't they let us study something interesting? Like psychology? Or philosophy? I'M NOT GOING TO USE ALGEBRA WHEN I'M WORKING IN A BOOKSTORE, THANKS, BUT I COULD PROBABLY FIND A WAY TO INDIRECTLY MANIPULATE SOMEONE TO BUY THOSE BOOKS. Could it have killed them to teach us something practical like. I don't know. How to pay taxes or something? They could teach us Latin too. It probably won't be any useful but hey at least it's _cool_. Also I want an excuse to say _gluteus maximus_ during class and absolutely make sense. It's one of my goals in my bucket list.

The fish here smells like depression.

 _ **\- Izumi ᕕ( ՞ ᗜ ՞ )ᕗ**_

* * *

 **To:** Ayase Izumi _  
_ **From:** Midorima Shintarou

 **Subject:** Re: hospital food sucks :/

* * *

Ayase,

Again, I must chastise you for use of profanity in everything you write. And yes, we are having a decent lunch. Takao lost at rock-paper-scissors and is buying drinks at the moment. I always offer him his lucky item to improve his luck but he rejects them every time, which is his loss. He might actually win at something one day if he'd accept my gracious offer. He might not win against my luck but he might stand a chance against others. I am also pleased to hear that you are taking proper care of your lucky items from Takao. Oha-Asa says that if you hug your…'Shin-tan'...at night it would increase the frequency of pleasant dreams. So I encourage you to do it. It would drastically help with your recovery.

I am not aware of this delicious tantanmen, but you have implored me to investigate its existence. While I doubt its validity seeing as you heard it from Suzuki, it could possibly help improve my luck properties when it comes to academics. I have been studying on how to improve my academic luck since middle school, after being forced to second place multiple times by my former captain. I attempted using my manager's notes and studied the materials she uses for notes as her notes have frequently helped the team's idiot pass his exams. Unfortunately I never managed to my former captain during that time frame, but it should help secure my academic ranking in Shuutoku.

Other than that, every food item you have listed has a high intake of calories and are extremely unhealthy. Hospital food may not be greased in cholesterol but it is healthy for you and you should stop taking advantage of your mother to always bring you food. As for your cast, I assume Takao spoils you by feeding you by hand so I do not fathom to think why you might have trouble eating with it. But if it hinders your mobility to that extent you could request for small snacks like bread and fruits instead of meals that require utensils.

I can assure you that I am plenty capable of handling academics and basketball. With Oha-Asa and a proper worth ethic by my side I have no doubt that I am able to succeed in my academics. For the latter, there should be no trouble considering my abilities and the competition we are up against. We will be due for the preliminary finals this weekend, a taxing day where there will be two matches on the same day - which should prove to be an mildly interesting event - but I am assured that our victory is guaranteed no matter who our opponent is.

While the title is fitting, I do not believe any man has the caliber to be monikered 'God', however I appreciate that you think so highly of my ability to juggle work-life balance, though I have a suspicion that you only think so due to your inability to juggle yours. Also I do not see the issue of being able to properly shoot three-pointers. With enough practice and accuracy even someone like you would be able to shoot a decent three-pointer. I would not be able to empathize with your difficulties seeing as I have never missed a shot. And no, I am not exaggerating this fact. I do not recall ever missing a shot in my entire life.

If you use your more than average inferring abilities, you should be able to properly guess what position I play - though I do not understand the correlation of personality with position. And clearly you should be using the time to revise seeing as you've skipped out on more thanhalf the term and are behind on your studies as you have only been present for one day of class in your entire high school career. And I do not honestly see the purpose of having a philosophy class, though I could see some worth in a psychology class. Though the way you phrase it only you and my former captain would wish to take part in it. And of _course_ you would only bother to learn a beautiful language only to scandalize it by using it for a body part. Yes, I have known you well enough to know what you are referring to, do not take me for an uneducated fool.

Also if saying that word in a Latin class is part of your bucket list, I have very low hopes for your future.

Please eat your fish. It is good for developing brains like yours.

 _ **\- Shintarou**_

* * *

 **To:** Ayase Izumi _  
_ **From:** Midorima Shintarou

 **Subject:** Re: Re: hospital food sucks :/

 _P.S._ Pisces ranks at 2nd today. Your lucky item is an orange jacket. Your Oha-Asa forecast says that you should be open to new interactions today to maximise the full potential of your luck.

 _ **\- Shintarou**_

* * *

"Shin-chan~ I got your red bean soup!"

Takao tilted his head in confusion at the lack of response from his partner. Normally the green-haired boy would tell him to shut up and stop making so much noise and hurry up with his red bean soup. Until he spotted the resident tsundere rapidly typing on his phone, an extremely miniscule, nearly non-existent exasperated smile on his face. It was certainly not his usual stoic frown, so Takao was 99% sure that was the megane's attempt at a smile. _Heheh, he's probably texting Izu-chan, what with an expression like that,_ Takao chuckled internally, ready to tease the shooting guard to submission.

"Maa~ Shin-chan, texting Izu-chan again? Your smile says it all!" Takao singsonged, placing the cold drink directly in front of the megane's face, much to his annoyance. Midorima merely "Hmph'ed" and pressed "Enter", sending the latest email through, "Don't be ridiculous, Takao. Nothing that girl sends me will ever make me smile nanodayo." Even as he said this the green-haired shooter was still giving his phone quick glances while casually eating the pickled vegetables from his bento box.

Takao rolled his eyes, _Yeah right you tsundere. I can see you eyeing your phone waiting for her reply._ "Anyway Shin-chan, aren't you going to ask her out this weekend?" the Hawk Eye player relished in the violent spit take from his partner as he - as elegantly as possible - choked on a piece of pickled radish, quickly moving to retrieve a handkerchief - a _goddamn handkerchief,_ what a fucking _gentleman_ \- from his shirt pocket and dabbing it around his mouth, acting like it never happened.

"D-Don't be stupid, Takao! S-She's still injured, she could not possibly go out this weekend nanodayo," Midorima pushed up his glasses - _a nervous tic_ , Takao observed -, eyebrows furrowing together in annoyance at his previous inelegance. "Also, if you did not notice, we have a match this weekend," Midorima replied just as Takao said, "Yeah, aren't you going to invite her to watch the game?"

The two partners stared at each other incredulously. Takao then grinned when he realized that Midorima basically sold himself out by saying that he didn't ask only because of the fact that Izumi was still _injured_ , not because he _didn't want to_. And the fact that he assumed Takao was hinting that he take her out for a _date_ , not to see a _match,_ and didn't end up denying or rejecting the idea of it.

Midorima cleared his throat, frown back in place. "It would be in her best interest to continue resting in hospital, seeing as she is a _patient_ healing from a _fall_. It would also likely be a boring event for her seeing as victory will be swift in our favor," he turned to look at Takao with a look that basically screamed 'I'm-trying-too-hard-to-stay-nonchalant-but-I'm-too-tsundere-for-this-shit', "and I would assume that you would have already beaten me to the chase regarding that area, considering the amount of time you spend in her company nanodayo."

Takao sweatdropped. _You are so goddamn obvious, Shin-chan_. _It's unbecoming of you._

Before he could reply, a small _ding_ from Midorima's phone stole their attention from the debate of asking Izumi out to watch the preliminary final game. As casually as possible, Midorima opened the email notification while Takao hung around over his shoulder to read the conversation, the green-haired shooting guard too used to Takao's catlike curiosity to even bother berating him for invading his personal space.

* * *

 **To:** Midorima Shintarou  
 **From:** Ayase Izumi

 **Subject:** Re: Re: Re: hospital food sucks :/

* * *

Shintarou,

As usual, your emails are full of roasting my personal life choices. And no, the day I stop swearing is the day I eat vegetables out of my own free will, which is never~!

Anyways I already sleep with Shin-tan, so you didn't have to tell to do that. And I guess it's working? The doctor says I'm making a remarkable recovery and I could probably stop wearing the cast a week earlier than the usual six to eight weeks (but I'll probably have to spend another six weeks to get back my hand strength ugh). Plus I'll probably be released from hospital before the all-day review test starts, like WTF I'll end up having to use my left hand to write. Thank god I practiced how to use my left hand while in hospital. Praise me, Shintarou~ for once I thought ahead, amirite?（｀ー´）

(Also low blow, Shintarou. I can't help that school is my ultimate weakness! And I would like to let you know that I could beat you anytime when it comes to standardized tests. Don't underestimate a loser who only knows how to read and study all day long! Wow I actually had to roast myself for that one lmao.)

SHOOTING GUARD! I'm right, right? You're definitely the shooting guard! Shit that's so cool wtf you've never missed? Not even once? How far can you shoot? I really wanna watch you guys play one day. You and Kazunari are both on the starting lineup right? That means you guys must be the best of the best right? THAT'S INCREDIBLE AND YOU'RE ONLY FIRST YEARS WTF YOU'VE ACCOMPLISHED MORE THAN I EVER HAD IN MY LIFE LMFAO Ｏ(≧▽≦)Ｏ Also I'm soooo sorry I can't be as perfect as you, Shintarou. I'm short and I can't play sports, so sue me, everyone should have flaws! Well, I have a bucket load of them, so I can't say much but eh.

Well excuse my _gluteus maximus_ I find it hilarious to have something like that on my bucket list. #Stupid&Proud! Also I read online that if you down a shot of warmed chicken essence in the morning of an exam it should help you concentrate better. It's not really a superstition but apparently a lot of Singaporean students do it before a big exam. And they're pretty smart right?

Brb gotta take my meds!

 _ **\- Izumi ᕕ( ՞ ᗜ ՞ )ᕗ**_

* * *

"Eheh...Izumi-chan's really good at giving out embarrassing compliments," Takao laughed, unable to help the light blush on his cheeks at the unusual enthusiasm the the girl gave off in exuberant amounts while she was praising their basketball prowess, "Shin-chan?"

The Shuutoku starter was silent as he read through the email, eyes fixated on a certain paragraph of the message.

"Shin-chan?"

Midorima's staring intensified, a contemplative look reaching his eyes, "Hmm….chicken essence..."

"EH? You were reading that?" Takao sweatdropped, "How could you miss out the praise Izu-chan was loading on you?"

"Hmph," Midorima turned chin up, pushing up his glasses with an air of arrogance, "I do not need to react over what is so clearly obvious. I know my own worth, nanodayo."

 _Ahhh, that's Shin-chan for you_ , Takao dreamily thought, smiling tiredly. The point guard reread the message again and tilted his head, chewing on his yakisoba bread tentatively when he caught onto a certain questionable third paragraph regarding the stuffed green cat "Shin-tan".

"'Anyways I already sleep with Shin-tan, so you didn't have to tell to do that'. Eh? Why would you tell Izumi-chan to sleep with Shin-tan?" At this Midorima broke his focus and turned away, refusing to meet the point guard's eyes. Takao stared at the shooting guard in bewilderment at the out-of-character moment until the implication dawned on him and he promptly _lost his shit_.

" _BWAHAHAHAAHA oh my god Shin-chan, you PERVERT_!"

"S-SHUT UP TAKAO!" Midorima hissed, glaring at the laughing mess that was his partner as the brunette literally started rolling on the floor laughing, much to the annoyance and amusement of the students around them "I-It w-was just a reminder from O-Oha-Asa! I did not implicitly d-demand her to sleep with her lucky item -!"

"Pfft, yeah whatever makes you happy Shin-chan," Takao giggled, wiping the tears from his eyes, chest heaving from the sheer amount of laughter leaving his lungs, "Yep, totally not about to ask her to pretend that Shin-tan isn't _you_."

" _Takao_ -"

"But still, there's your chance, Shin-chan, you should invite her to come," Takao quickly diverted the topic in order to avoid further conflict and the chance that Midorima might possibly kill him, "Didn't you read? She really wants to watch us. And _you_."

Midorima fixed his glasses for the third time today, not that anyone was counting, cheeks dusting pink. "I would have assumed that it would be natural for her to have been asked by you instead. Seeing how close you two are nanodayo."

 _Aaah, Shin-chan's jealous_ , Takao deadpanned. _And of course, I gotta be the man responsible to fix it~!_

"I guess," Takao sighed, taking out his phone, a faux thinking look crossing his features. "But I think it'd really mean a lot more to Izu-chan if you asked her, you know? She's always talking about wanting to watch you play, and to meet you. You're like her idol you know? Also if I ask she's still going to ask if you're okay with it, and she might accidentally think you don't want her to come, and I thought that it'd be fun for us to hang out together afterwards to celebrate our victory, but if that's what you wan -"

As predicted, Midorima had already started rapidly typing out a reply even before Takao finished his sentence, leading the Hawk Eye player to smirk internally. _Jackpot. Oh you've done it again Kazunari, you amazing mastermind. What would these two do without you?_

* * *

 **To:** Ayase Izumi _  
_ **From:** Midorima Shintarou

 **Subject:** Re: Re: Re: Re: hospital food sucks :/

* * *

Ayase,

This may be sudden, but if I can recall correctly, the hospital is an agreeable walking distance from the stadium the preliminary match will be hosted in. In your case it would be possible for you to walk there without much trouble. But only if the hospital allows you to leave. The final preliminary match is on a Saturday and will start promptly at five, lasting approximately an hour or more, if that is agreeable with you.

Takao has also...suggested that you might like to join us for dinner or such after our match. But only if you are capable of doing so. We will not force you into coming if you are unable to.

 _ **\- Shintarou**_

* * *

"Smooth Shin-chan, making it all my idea," Takao raised an eyebrow at his partner, swallowing the last bite of his yakisoba bread.

Midorima huffed. "Technically, it _was_ your idea. Do not blame it on me if she -" two _dings!_ could be heard one after another in rapid succession and the pair stared at the green phone in surprise. Takao watched in amusement as Midorima opened the message automatically without even a moment's hesitation.

* * *

 **To:** Midorima Shintarou _  
_ **From:** Ayase Izumi

 **Subject:**

* * *

! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! !

 _ **\- Izumi ᕕ( ՞ ᗜ ՞ )ᕗ**_

* * *

 **To:** Midorima Shintarou  
 **From:** Ayase Izumi

 **Subject:**

* * *

OF COURSE? I'M SO HAPPY YOU ASKED OH MY GOD? I swear I won't even sleep the night before the match I'll be too fucking hyped like! Sorry Shintarou I'm really lost for words sorry for the caps lock but yes! I'll ask for permission from the doctor! I think I'm gonna be discharged this weekend anyway so! *:. o(≧▽≦)o .:* Ahhhh I really wanna meet you! I wanna know how this famous "Shin-chan" looks like! Tell Kazunari I'm looking forward to him being awesome too! Can't wait can't wait! FUCK.

 _ **\- Izumi ᕕ( ՞ ᗜ ՞ )ᕗ**_

* * *

After finishing reading the email Takao had divulged into uncontrollable snickers at the very "Izumi-like" response. Full of profanity and energy and pure, innocent happiness that should never be tainted on. The best thing about the whole exchange was Midorima trying - emphasis on the word _trying_ \- his best not to smile at her overly enthusiastic reply.

 _Ah Shin-chan just admit that you want her to come watch you play._

Just as Takao got his shit together the bell rang to signal the end of lunch break. "Ah, times up, sensei's coming in soon," Takao told the shooting guard, who nodded in acknowledgment and started packing up his things a little more slower than usual. Takao noticed that Midorima kept reading over the latest message while packing, his eyes expressing more determination than he usually did.

 _Hoho_ , Takao thought with a grin, _looks like you're gonna be in for a show this weekend, Izu-chan~!_

* * *

The hours very slowly tickled by while Izumi was still nursing in hospital. It was a vicious cycle everyday: she'd wake up, have a check up, eat a tiny meal, take her meds and struggle to bathe with the cast. Her mom would come in in the mornings to leave her non-disgusting and non-dairy food - much to Izumi's relief - before getting her daily lecture for being so _goddamn reckless, what in the hell you could have DIED_ , get a kiss on the forehead and a "Bye, Izumin~!" as her inappropriately attractive mom left for work at the research labs. Then the day would then proceed with many hours of doing _something_ to keep her from going fucking insane.

The highlight of her day would naturally be Takao's visits: with his raucous laughter, contagious smiles, "Shin-chan Recommended Non-Dairy Snacks" as well as her lucky item of the day (she still kept ALL of them at the corner of her bed, insisting to the nurse that they were all precious gifts and that she would very happily try to scale the hospital if anything ever happened to them) never failing to entertain her for hours. But as the days went by his visits gradually got shorter and shorter and later into the evening during the InterHigh period. And despite Shuutoku's winning streak, Takao would always stay back after practice to get in a few hours of training with Midorima before visiting her at the hospital in the late evening hours. He'd appear in his school sweats, exhausted and less cheery than usual. And despite his natural playful enthusiasm Izumi would often find him falling asleep mid-conversation.

His visits had eventually ended up with him using her lap as a lap pillow, conversing sleepily and often not making sense while Izumi listened and ate whatever snack Midorima had recommended for the day, her fingers subconsciously stroking the sweaty point guard's hair, often glancing at whatever ridiculous lucky item the Hawk Eye player brought in that he'd left on her bedside table with a smile. Takao would drift off for awhile to the gentle stroking of his head, much too tired to think about the romantic implications of their situation as Izumi quietly read a book while he slept, strangely soothed by the sleeping point guard's presence.

Of course, he'd be forced to leave eventually due to the visiting hours restriction, with a sleepy apology for not being able to entertain her much, before she dismissed his apology (often with some profanity and a shy hug), telling him to go get rest and forget about visiting her tomorrow (he refused every single time with a smile) and watching him leave, dragging his feet sleepily.

Izumi - spoiled as she was - would then be left in the company of a myriad of books that she would eventually get bored of after while because really, indulging in your hobbies was only special when you had to make time for them. There was of course, looking up random things on her phone and going on SNS, but - "I wanna text Shintarouuuu," she whined to herself, "but that asshole told me not to message him while he's in school!"

Indeed, Midorima had set certain rules when it came to "messaging hours". Firstly, Izumi wasn't allowed to text him while he was at school. That meant that the minute after homeroom ended and the first lesson started, Izumi was forbidden to text him all the way until lunch break. Then she was allowed to text him however many times she liked until lunch break ended, then she would be allowed to text him again right after school was dismissed. After that there was the "Sleep Rule": Midorima would not answer any messages past ten and before five, so as to not "spoil" her and indulge her "midnight-morning texting escapades".

Looking the rules over, Izumi supposed Midorima really was being generous with her. He was still basically allowing her 18 hours of active madness. Ironically, for some reason, this rule didn't apply for basketball practice, but the bluenette decided not to pry into that matter. But seeing as basketball practice wasn't included in the "messaging hours" rule, then wouldn't it be okay for her text him anyway but he didn't particularly have to answer back immediately?

("Nah, nah Izumi-chan, it's not that," Takao said as he happily spoon fed the girl a special soy milk pudding Midorima "accidentally recommended" during lunch break, "You gotta understand that Shin-chan is a Bonafide Tsundere™. If he's telling you that he doesn't want you texting him during school hours, it basically means 'I won't be able to stop myself from reading your messages immediately regardless whether I'm in class or not'." Izumi shut her eyes in pleasure and blew her cheeks out in joy at the mild caramel taste of the pudding on her tongue, "Mmmmm. But isn't Shintarou super studious? You mentioned that he's never texted during class before. Even for you Kazunari." Tako sweatdropped and moved the pudding cup away from Izumi's reach, eliciting a betrayed look from her, "Yeah no shit. You're kind of above that rule, Izu-chan. I'm his best friend and he won't even do that for me! _Ever_! For that comment I'm stealing the pudding~" "Don't you dare - COME BACK HERE WITH MY PUDDING!")

And thus without question she patiently waited for three o'clock to come. It was just three hours after all. She could be a good friend and wait to text until then, right?

Ha. Ha. Ha.

Bold of anyone to assume she was capable of staying still for that long.

And so Izumi tried. She really did. She glanced through her books again, went through her notes a couple more times, looked through her Tumblr feed. She was doing pretty well for about like 5 minutes before her ADHD kicked in like a bitch and her brain was practically screaming, _YO MY GIRL YOU GOTTA DO SOMETHING OR ELSE YOUR BODY GONNA BE ENDING UP SCALING A BUILDING AGAIN. FURREAL._

 _Yeah, I think I'm gonna go walk a bit_ , Izumi thought to herself in defeat as she hopped out of bed to go find her slippers, _Shintarou did say I should be open to new interactions. How am I gonna interact if I don't get out of bed_?

A sudden flash of negative memories invaded her mind for a brief moment and her heart seized in panic. Izumi took a deep breath, hand clenched tightly over her chest and told herself to breathe. _Be brave, you fucking dumbass. That happened a long time ago, Jesus fuck. You're just here to talk to people. Come on!_

 _Also_ , Izumi fingered the sleeve of Takao's Shuutoku basketball jacket that he left last night in his bout of fatigue, _Oha-Asa did say my lucky item was an orange jacket today_. And with that she shrugged the jacket over her tiny shoulders, deadpanning at how oversized it was on her. _Kazunari's big…_

And thus Izumi explored the hospital, observing on curiously at the amount of white she saw with her own two eyes. It was the usual scene she had been so used to seeing for the past two weeks. There were doctors looking serious while discussing something on their clipboards, nurses assisting the disabled, patients talking casually to one another with the familiarity one would have when you live in the same ward for weeks on end. A frighteningly comforting sight for the blue-haired girl. After inquiring for directions she made her way down to the cafeteria, hopefully to get some grub that didn't taste like cardboard. _Could really go for some pudding_ , Izumi mused. _I don't really care if it has milk in it. As long as I don't eat like 4 to 5 tubs it should be fine. Right?_

(And to that response, her digestive system told her what a fucking bad idea it was. But did Izumi care? Nah.)

And just as her luck, as she made her way down to the cafeteria she spotted a tray full of prepackaged desserts on the counter. Daifuku, cakes, cupcakes, mochi, and on the far corner there was…

"Pudding!" Izumi said aloud with so much hope in her tone it was nearly laughable, "And the last one too!"

Immediately she rushed over to the counter to buy the last delectable looking pudding cup, eyes glittering with so much happiness that she barely even noticed when a large, muscular hand clamped down over the last pudding cup first before she did.

Izumi blinked in shock, "The pudding -"

"Oh, ojou-chan, what do we have here?"

Izumi looked up at the towering, bulking figure leaning over her, and she could slowly, very slowly, feel herself disintegrating into despair.

" _Fuck_."

* * *

 **Omake**

"Ah, times up, sensei's coming in soon," Takao told the shooting guard, who nodded in acknowledgment and started packing up his things a little more slower usual. Takao noticed that Midorima kept reading the latest message while packing, his eyes expressing more determination than he usually did.

 _Hoho_ , Takao thought with a grin, _looks like you're gonna be in for a show this weekend, Izu-chan~!_

 _Ding~!_

 _Eh?_

Confused, Midorima opened the incoming email from the blue-haired girl.

* * *

 **To:** Midorima Shintarou _  
_ **From:** Ayase Izumi

 **Subject:** btw

* * *

Help me tell Kazunari that he left his jacket on my bed while he was sleeping with me yesterday! Thanks!

 _ **\- Izumi ᕕ( ՞ ᗜ ՞ )ᕗ**_

* * *

Midorima's glasses cracked.

" _ **TAKAO!**_ "

Takao flinched at the deathly aura surrounding the shooting guard and nearly shrieked in fear at Midorima's disgusted, angry, _horrified_ face while he was pointing a shivering bandaged finger accusingly at the already terrified point guard.

" _ **COME HERE! WHAT ON EARTH HAVE YOU BEEN UP TO WHILE VISITING AYASE? WHY ARE YOU RUNNING AWAY YOU -**_ "

"WAHHH SHIN-CHAN I'M RUNNING BECAUSE YOU LOOK _FUCKING TERRIFYING_ WHAT THE _FUCK_ DID I DO?"

" **WHAT DID YOU** _ **DO? WHAT DID YOU DO?**_ **I'M APPALLED THAT YOU HAVE THE GALL TO EVEN DEFEND YOURSELF - "**

"SHIN-CHAN WAIT _SHIN-CHAN DON'T THROW YOUR FUCKING BOWLING BALL AT ME_ _ **WHAT THE FUCK**_ _-"_

" **MOLESTING AYASE IN HER SLEEP!** _ **SLEEPING WITH HER - !"**_

"WAIT WHAT? HOLD ON SHIN-CHAN LET ME EXPLAIN -"

" **Explain nothing. Prepare for retribution, sinner.** "

" _EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEK!"_

* * *

Somewhere in the hospital, Izumi sneezed. The nurse glanced at her in worry, inquiring, "Is it too cold for you, Ayase-chan? I could close lower the temperature if you'd like."

"Nah, it's okay. I think someone is talking about me."

"...I see."

"By the way, I kind of miswrote 'on me' to 'with me'. Do you think anyone would notice?"

"Hmm. Probably not, Ayase-chan. Unless they were an English teacher."

"I see. Well, nothing to worry then."

* * *

 **Please do worry, Ayase. Aka #AyaseJustSignedTakao'sDeathCertificiate.**

 _Also, please keep these amazing reviews coming! Also anyone would like to make a guess who Izumi ended up encountering over the pudding? :3 Leave them in your reviews!_ _Had a lot of trouble and fun formulating the plot for this chapter, but at least it's getting somewhere. :/_


	6. Koi-Koi!

**Author's Note:** Do you know I spat out my tea at 3am in the morning after researching online that Pisces/Scorpio and Pisces/Cancer have good compatibility? Like, the FUCK I DIDN'T PLAN THIS SHIT I JUST USED MY OWN SIGN BECAUSE IT'S EASIER TO WRITE FUCK.

Also, this chapter will be a bit more expositional to how Izumi reacts to her surroundings with the help of a certain someone~. PLEASE READ THE END FOR INFORMATION ON THE NEXT CHAPTER.

* * *

 **How To Text A Tsundere  
** _by Newt Is My Shank_

* * *

"Pudding!" Izumi said aloud with so much hope in her tone it was nearly laughable, "And the last one too!"

Immediately she rushed over to the counter to buy the last delectable looking pudding cup, eyes glittering with so much happiness that she barely even noticed when a large, muscular hand clamped down over the last pudding cup first before she did.

Izumi blinked in shock, "The pudding -"

"Oh, ojou-chan, what do we have here?"

Izumi looked up at the towering, bulking figure leaning over her, and she could slowly, very slowly, feel herself disintegrating into despair.

" _Fuck_."

The tall man frowned, unintentionally looming over her even more than he should be and forcing her to back up against the counter, color draining from whatever was left from her face (which was not that much to be fair). "Ojou-chan, that's really not nice. You could've told me if you wanted the pudding," and then the man _pouted_. _Pouted_ , I tell you! It should be illegal for men to be able to pout (especially if it was a certain Hawk Eye player, that little bastard). And with that Izumi's shoulders relaxed and her mind calmed down long enough to carefully survey the young man in front of her.

Tall. _Very tall_. Brown hair with a shade nearer to grey and thick eyebrows. Izumi literally had to raise her chin all the way up to meet the young man's kindly grandfatherly eyes. Shit, now she felt bad. This was like middle school all over again, except their positions were reversed and she was pretty sure she didn't look as relaxing and sweet-looking as this young man in front of her.

"I am terribly sorry, I thought you were a giant and freaked the fuck out," Izumi wanted to slap herself, "Fuck, sorry. I say stupid shit sometimes. Please ignore everything I say."

"Ehehehe, ojou-chan you're pretty funny," the brown-haired man laughed heartily, sounding more and more like an old man every second she heard him speak, which of course made her feel much worse. Old people were cool! Izumi looked down in shame. She read somewhere in a book that first impressions were key, and she was pretty sure she already fucked it up already and the guy in front her was just trying to be nice.

"So ojou-chan, do you want the pudding?"

Izumi perked her head up attentively at him, eyes sparkling. "C-Can I?"

The brown-haired man grinned patiently at her, a hint of amusement in his kindly brown eyes. "Of course you can! On a few conditions of course."

… _.Conditions?_

"First, you will let me pay for it," the man listed off with his fingers, "Second, you have to win it off me in a game of Koi-Koi. And third -"

The sweet-looking male smiled so dopily it reached all the way to his eyes, making him look like a very old but happy-to-please Golden Retriever, "You have to hang out with me!"

 _Beat._

Izumi blinked, "Those are some very interesting conditions, um -"

"Teppei. Kiyoshi Teppei," Kiyoshi introduced himself happily. Izumi wondered if he was on some sort of happiness inducing pill or LSD or something. It was seriously not possible for anyone to look this dopey and high on a daily basis, and Kiyoshi looked like he OD'ed on it, "You can call me Kiyoshi! What about you, ojou-chan?"

"A-Ayase Izumi," Izumi replied, "nice to meet you, K-Kiyoshi um…"

"I'm a second year, Ayase-chan. Are you in middle school?"

"I'm a first year in high school, Kiyoshi-senpai."

"Ah, I'm sorry. You look so young, Ayase-chan! You're like a little puppy!"

Izumi's cheeks flushed, again not being used to being fed compliments. Fuck, this was like the Takao situation all over again. She doubted that she'd ever get used to being complimented, even though Kiyoshi's "compliment" was slightly more dubious in nature and she had absolutely no idea how she shared similar physical attributes to a puppy. "T-Thank you, senpai…?"

Kiyoshi simply smiled - not like he ever stopped smiling for the entire exchange anyway - and went to the cashier to pay for the custard pudding cup before gesturing at the younger girl to follow him. "So Ayase-chan, what are you in for?" Kiyoshi asked, expertly maneuvering the blue-haired girl around with his hand placed securely on her lower back. Izumi made sure to hold on tightly to the hem of Kiyoshi's hospital gown - or shirt, technically - as he steered her into a busy, bustling hallway of the lower-class wards, careful not to injure her arm as they made it to Kiyoshi's ward.

"Oh, I fell off a building."

Kiyoshi stopped and looked down at her, eyes widening slightly, "Are you alright?"

"Ah, I am. It was just three floors, no big deal."

"Most people would not say that it wasn't a big deal, Ayase-chan," Kiyoshi said, pitch gone down an octave, but did not appear shocked or horrified which was a pleasant change for once, "How did you fall off a building, Ayase-chan?"

Izumi bowed politely as an elderly ward passed by them to greet Kiyoshi.

"I was running away from my teacher."

"And why were you running away from your teacher?"

"Because he was chasing me with blue cheese."

Kiyoshi sweatdropped as he led the two of them to a little recreation room, where there various tables and sofas set out for the comfort of the patients. Most of the people inhabiting the recreation room were mainly the elderly chatting and playing card games, and young families with kids playing around with the board games kept in an open book shelf near the reception counter.

"You'd have to a bit more specific than that, Ayase-chan."

"Hmm...I was late for school, and my sensei was a demon who wanted to chase me into his office while carrying blue cheese, which I deeply feared. This led to an epic showdown in the girl's bathroom, with him telling me to get out or he'd throw the cheese inside like a grenade. To which I decided to escape the battle by leaving through the overhead window in an attempt to scale the building," Izumi explained with as much emotion as a baked potato, "To which I had a tragic fall after attempting the climb from one ledge to another, due to my lack of physical agility. And now here I am." She raised her arms up to accentuate the fact that she "was here" and waved her injured wrist cast around as if she was waving the National Flag.

Kiyoshi simply stared at her and Izumi stared at him back. A few seconds passed before Kiyoshi's smile returned to his face and he started chuckling tiredly as he replayed the entire exchange in his head.

"You're quite a character, Ayase-chan!" Kiyoshi's smile suddenly had flowery aura around it, like he was pleased to hear her story, "I want to hear more of it. Now come sit down here! Here I'll pull a chair for you." Izumi couldn't help a blush as the very gentlemanly Kiyoshi pulled a chair out for her before he jogged to the receptionist desk and returned with a deck of Hanafuda cards. "Thank you for the cards, Oba-chan!" Kiyoshi called back to the elderly grandmotherly receptionist, who smiled in response to Kiyoshi's gentlemanly charms.

"Ho ho, anytime for you Teppei-kun! Next time you don't have to ask~."

Izumi blinked at the friendly exchange between the young Kiyoshi and the elderly receptionist, amazed by how polite and at the same time overwhelmingly charming he was regardless of age gap and gender. The total, polar opposite of her.

"You're very popular around here, Kiyoshi-senpai," Izumi stated, standing up so she could help prepare the Hanafuda cards.

"Well, I've been here for a pretty long time, Ayase-chan, enough time to talk to everyone in your ward," Kiyoshi said gaily, "Have you ever played Koi-Koi?"

"With my mom," Izumi said, "I've never lost after the first round though." With that a devious glint flashed in her eyes. Back with the goal in mind, she thought, _I am going to win that pudding fair and square no matter what._ "I will win that pudding from you for sure, Kiyoshi-senpai."

"Oh ho," Kiyoshi smirked deviously in return, "You shouldn't underestimate someone who has been taught by the best of the best, Ayase-chan."

"And who is that?"

Kiyoshi grinned with so much happiness and sweetness that something in Izumi nearly died from shock at the amount of visual diabetes she was receiving. "Matsuda-ojiisan from Ward 7~!"

Izumi deadpanned. "I see. Shall we start?"

Kiyoshi chuckled and fingered the top of his card deck in excitement, "Eager for your pudding, Ayase-chan?"

"You betcha."

"Hah~ I like your energy~! Koi Koi!"

* * *

"Ah, I won again."

"NO FUCKING WAY. I DEMAND A REMATCH."

"Maa maa Ayase-chan there's children here - "

"FUCK THEM. HOW? _HOW DID YOU -_ "

"Hohoho~ I told you not to underestimate me, Ayase-chan. You got too ahead of yourself there. But it's okay, I'll give you your pudding anyway - "

"I REFUSE. I WILL WIN AGAINST YOU TO EARN MY PUDDING!"

"Oho~? I don't mind at all but I might not be so kind to you if you lose again, Ayase-chan~."

" _I ASSURE YOU I WON'T FUCKING LOSE AGAIN, KIYOSHI-SENPAI._ "

"Haha, now that's the spirit~!"

Izumi yanked her hair in frustration, glaring at the cards laid out in front of her. Kiyoshi won with the yaku. _Three times in a row_. THREE TIMES. This was ridiculous. This entire situation was ridiculous. In fact, because of Izumi's angry ranting and Kiyoshi's buoyant laughter, they had attracted quite a tiny crowd that hung around just to watch the well-needed hospital entertainment, including an elderly geezer who was watching their game and chuckling amusedly at Kiyoshi's very intentional egging on.

"You need to relax, Ayase-chan. Getting all heated up will hinder your thought process," Kiyoshi advised calmly as they restarted the deck.

Izumi sighed exasperatedly but realized the older male was correct. She would never be able to win her pudding if she didn't calm down. All she technically had to do was act and think faster than Kiyoshi did so she could obtain the yaku combo. A random thought sprouted in her head.

"Forgive me for asking Kiyoshi-senpai, but was there any reason why you gave me those three conditions at the cafeteria just now?" Izumi inquired, "I technically could've just paid for the pudding."

"Hmmmm…." Kiyoshi mused, eyes shut in contemplation, "Well, now that wouldn't be any fun, wouldn't it?"

Izumi and the crowd sweatdropped. For some extremely convoluted, Kiyoshi-like reason, that made absolute, perfect sense. Kiyoshi chuckled heartily and leaned over to ruffle the younger girl's already messy hair. At the gesture Izumi's ears turned pink, not used to receiving this kind of physical affection from anyone aside from her mom and Takao. It felt very comforting to be patted by the tall boy, whose impressively large palm managed to cover her entire head.

"To be fair, you stuck out like a sore thumb, Ayase-chan. I just thought you might be interesting to hang around with," Kiyoshi explained, and at Izumi's questioning look, pointed to the oversized varsity jacket that she was wearing around her shoulders, "That's the Shuutoku Basketball Team's varsity jacket, isn't it Ayase-chan?"

"Yes," Izumi nodded, fingering the long sleeves of Takao's varsity jacket, already forgotten that she was wearing it while she was walking around the hospital, "It's my f-friend's. He left it here last night."

Kiyoshi's expression immediately became sly, "Oh~ you've got a boyfriend, Ayase-chan?"

Unbeknownst to Iron Heart, Izumi still had an extremely difficult time understanding when she was being teased with romantic implications. Considering all form of media she was exposed to were mostly historical texts, non-fiction and fiction books that had sparse romantic elements, textbooks, memes, and shonen manga (in fact she skimmed through pages/chapters she doubted were relevant to the plot eg. the main character professing that he was going to protect the female protagonist etc), her response to anything romance-related was pretty skewed, if not unusual and at times borderline comedic and prone to a huge misunderstanding.

"Well, of course he's my boy friend, Kiyoshi-senpai," Izumi said firmly, eyes flaring in determination at the fact that Takao _was_ her friend, "I mean, he's a boy and my friend!"

Everyone who heard in on this declaration promptly fell over comedically. They felt bad for whoever was the owner of said Shuutoku jacket. Bless his soul if he were to ever catch feelings for the blue-haired girl.

* * *

Somewhere in Shuutoku, Takao sneezed.

* * *

"Hoho, I see," Kiyoshi broke out into a jovial chortle, "You like him a lot then?"

Izumi nodded shyly, bringing up the varsity jacket sleeves to hide her face with them, unintentionally revealing cute sweater paws, "Kazunari is extremely kind. He approached me first when no one else did and teases me all the time and is a very affectionate person. I also find him to be very observant and non judgemental, which is something I admire a lot about him. I truly appreciate his friendship." Her face went a little hot at the attentive stares she was receiving as she continued on, "He...always brings me snacks whenever he visits and is very playful. He's entertains me with a lot of stories and I like it when he laughs." At that moment of time, anyone with a working pair of eyes and a beating heart momentarily felt their heart burst in moe at the sight before them. It wasn't everyday that you saw a small teenage girl in a hospital wearing an oversized basketball varsity jacket and acting all shy and embarrassed over her supposed "boyfriend". This was practically first class romcom right here!

"Mou onee-san! You need to be more honest with your feelings!" a little kid no older than eight spoke up wisely, eliciting a few vigorous nods from the older audience, "Or else he'll give up on you!"

 _Give up on me?_ For some reason that proclamation didn't entirely settle well for Izumi, who was clearly horrified at the thought over losing Takao as her friend. Something upsetting crawled and twisted into the pit of her stomach.

"He's right, jou-chan, you gotta be more assertive you know? If you can't show it with your words then show it with your body!" a young man huffed indignantly, earning a whack across the head from his mother, "Don't be crude, Haru!"

Quickly enough the thought of winning the Hanafuda game had been forgotten and the conversation divulged into a crowd of people aggressively trying to give out romantic advice to Izumi, with Kiyoshi egging on the conversation and laughing at Izumi's focused expression as she did her best to absorb all of this useful information in order to keep her "boyfriend."

" _Tell him how much you care - "_

"Hugs, hand holding - "

" _My advice to you jou-san is to use every opportunity you can to sit on his lap. Guys love that shit - OW!"_

"Make sure to bring the point across that you truly appreciate what he's done for you - "

"I see, thank you everyone, this is very useful," Izumi bowed her head politely as gratitude for all the advice, "So should I apply these techniques for both of them?"

 _Beat_.

 _Beat._

 _Beat._

"EEEEEEEHHHHHH? BOTH OF THEM?"

Izumi jumped a little in her seat in surprise, "Yes, of course. I have two male friends." Everyone in earshot of this stared at the girl in disbelief.

Kiyoshi hummed and leaned forward to ruffle her hair again to get her attention, "How is the second boy like, Ayase-chan? Is he the same as this Kazunari-kun?"

* * *

Somewhere in Shuutoku, Midorima sneezed. Clearly today was an odd day for Cancers.

* * *

"Well...not really. He's - " Ayase smiled and laughed into her hand at the thought of Midorima acting anything like Takao, "Shintarou is kind of a tsundere, I guess? He always tells me to eat my vegetables and loads me with a lot of information about medical stuff and advises me on how to take care of myself. He's a little eccentric and sounds somewhat arrogant and mean sometimes but I think he's actually a pretty nice person. He never comes to visit but he makes Kazunari deliver my lucky item to me everyday."

"I see. They're both very special to you, aren't they Ayase-chan?" Kiyoshi asked, placing several cards next to each other to make his combo.

"They are!" Izumi exclaimed happily, eyes brimming with delight and a dazzling smile on her face, "They're my first friends ever!"

 _First_? Kiyoshi thought, slightly taken aback at hearing this but didn't let the emotion show on his face. He didn't think that such an eccentric, energetic girl would proclaim two guys in _high school_ to be her "first friends" and no doubt he was a little curious about it. Thankfully, Izumi seemed to read his questioning look on that matter and started explaining while matching her own cards.

"I have a lot of difficulty making friends because I don't approach people and people don't like to approach me. I've been told that I look very serious and scary and I give off a bad vibe which could be the reason why," she managed to match 2 of her sets and grinned to herself triumphantly.

"Eeeehhh? I don't think you're scary at all, Ayase-chan," Kiyoshi said, smile still present but tone dipped to a little seriousness, "I think it's because you were smiling when I first saw you. And the face you made when I took your pudding." Izumi flushed all the way down to her neck and glared at Kiyoshi, who all in all just chuckled at the bluenette's attempt at sending him an annoyed look, "See? You don't look scary at all! Right everyone?"

"Onee-san was pretty scary when she walked in," the wise 8-year-old noted, "But when she smiles she's really pretty!"

Izumi's flush darkened even further and she resorted to shielding her face in her hands while everyone started playfully teasing and laughing at her shyness, amongst some reassurances that she only looked scary when she wasn't showing any emotion. Despite her initial embarrassment it truly did warm her chest at the thought that people didn't really find her _that_ scary at all, and wondered if instead of showing no emotion all, if she had smiled brightly and sincerely on the first day of school would people have approached her more easily.

Izumi looked up admiringly at Kiyoshi, and noticed the scheming, coy look in his eyes and her jaw dropped open in shock, " _You planned this, didn't you_?"

Kiyoshi gave her an innocent look and grinned, " _What plan? I didn't plan anything. You're just seeing things~"_

The bluenette sweatdropped and was about to make a comeback when an elderly geezer tapped her on the shoulder and pointed to the cards, "Ojou-chan, you won."

Izumi's eyes went back onto her cards and practically _glowed_ at the realization that she matched all her sets.

A noisy cheer went up for her victory as several people clapped her on the shoulder or offered their congratulations while Kiyoshi laughed at her bedazzled reaction, watching on as people of all different ages went up to tell Izumi good job for winning after four rounds of losing with a gentle smile. Even when the same old geezer who pointed out Izumi's win gave an exasperated " _You lost to her on purpose, didn't you?"_ look to Kiyoshi while nobody was paying attention.

Kiyoshi laughed in return and shrugged. From the looks of it, Izumi was somewhat enjoying the praise and the positive feedback she so badly needed, despite her flustered reactions and her response to it all by stammering out her thanks to whoever went to congratulate her. It was quite a beautiful moment, seeing this young girl who clearly wasn't well versed in making friends receive praise and attention from people she barely even knew.

 _To be fair, Ayase-chan isn't really that scary_ , Kiyoshi contemplated while cleaning up the card deck, _Even when she's not smiling, to me she doesn't really give off a bad vibe. But I can see why others think she does_. During the entire exchange, the Uncrowned King had quietly surveyed the young girl's interactions while she was distracted. Much earlier when they had just arrived into the room, he had realized that many of the patients and staff were trying their best to avoid looking at Izumi. That was, until she started losing in Koi-Koi and showed more reaction that her serious face and petite stature implied and garnered everyone's curiosity.

Kiyoshi then wondered why he didn't feel that way when he first saw her in the cafeteria earlier, and came to the conclusion that Izumi didn't feel scary at all to him mostly because he'd faced much worse on court. What with the overwhelming presence and horror the Generation of Miracles imposed on other teams back in middle school...whoever faced _that_ could definitely face a mildly serious blue-haired girl with one hell of a swearing streak.

" -senpai, Kiyoshi-senpai!"

Kiyoshi shook his head and snapped out of his funk only to see Izumi staring at him eagerly, pout on her face and hand extended to receive her prize.

"You owe me a pudding!"

Kiyoshi blinked and handed over the custard pudding, placing it on the small girl's palm with a sincere grin.

"Congratulations Ayase-chan~ guess you did win me after all!" Kiyoshi laughed as the girl raised the pudding cup into the air as if she was raising Simba from Lion King. At that moment, Izumi had a smile on her face that could literally give the Sun a run for its money and for those short, couple of seconds, she felt like she could take on the world.

That was...until Doctor Tsukasa came over and plucked the pudding cup right out of her hands.

And then _karate chopped_ her directly on the head.

Everyone watched this entire exchange with shock as all color drained from the previously smiling girl's face as she slowly stared up at the doctor whose smile could literally send a whole fleet of soldiers running away from battle.

Instead of chastising her in front of such a big audience, he turned to them with a much more pleasant smile on his face and explained, "Everyone, I'm terribly sorry for ruining the mood, but Izumi-san has terrible lactose intolerance, and I would oblige if everyone could watch over her and make sure she doesn't try to take in anything that contains milk or lactose, for the sake of her swift recovery."

Izumi could literally feel herself wither away in despair as everyone present happily agreed to the doctor's wishes of keeping anything containing milk away from her as long as she was in this hospital, unintentionally plummeting her to her pudding-free doom. She could already _feel_ Midorima aggressively agreeing with Doctor Tsukasa's words and calling her a fool and Takao laughing himself sick if she ever told them about this incident.

Doctor Tsukasa then tossed the pudding cup back to an amused Kiyoshi, who caught it and sent a half-apologetic smile to Izumi.

"Sorry Ayase-chan, looks like I'll have to hold onto this for awhile."

Izumi felt herself slump into her chair with a pout.

 _DAMMIT! FOILED AGAIN!_

* * *

Much to Izumi's surprise, three o' clock had struck by fairly quickly as she wandered about - cough cough more like dragged around - with Kiyoshi while exploring all the wards, finding herself chatting way more than she usually did around the patients, including some of those who had offered her romantic advice earlier during the day. It was amazing how having a well-known and popular senpai walk around with you could do to your "friendliness factor", as whoever Kiyoshi approached, he made sure to introduce Izumi as well, much to her embarrassment. The elder boy's comforting and reassuring smile did wonders in helping Izumi curb her anxiety while she talked with her fellow patients, and by the time three o' clock had arrived she had made very solid acquaintances with the wise 8-year-old, the mildly perverted boy by the name of Haru, and several old aunties and uncles who couldn't help but pinch her cheeks and offer her rice crackers while she visited them at their beds.

"Ho ho, Teppei-kun, what happened to your other girlfriend? Not cheating aren't you?" questioned a sleazy uncle who had to cough five times before voicing his question out to the bashful Center.

"Maaa, Riko and I broke up a long time ago, ojii-san! Don't make Ayase-chan misunderstand~," Kiyoshi pouted at the hospitalized geezer, who barked back a hoarse laugh in return. Izumi looked up in curiosity at Kiyoshi, who the entire time had his hand placed safely on her upper back to prevent her from bumping into things accidentally and also from escaping (lmao).

(" _Kiyoshi-san, I would like for you to keep an eye on Izumi-san for me. She tends to walk right into trouble, from what I've heard," Doctor Tsukasa warned the Center, eye bags prominent to accentuate his point that this was likely not the first time Izumi had unintentionally caused herself trouble - and for her poor doctor, "On her first day here, I turned away for one second and next thing I knew she was playing with a syringe and trying to inject herself with it 'for the lols'. I have not been the same ever since.")_

Indeed, Kiyoshi had not yet truly seen Izumi's "playful" side yet, and so far was only exposed to her "serious, learner" side, her "shy, inexperienced" side and her "F-bombs everywhere, unused to being teased" side. The Iron Heart, very used to handling asshole teammates, decided not to take any chances and made sure to keep her by his side at all costs - in fear of wrath from the mildly violent doctor.

"Kiyoshi-senpai, you used to date?"

Kiyoshi scratched his head in embarrassment, reminiscing the times where he used to date Riko, current Seirin coach, "Ahh, we did. We had a good run together, but we broke up sometime after I got my knee injury." Kiyoshi observed as Izumi stared down at his knee with a concerned expression on her face, "we're still very good friends, and she's the Coach of my basketball team! That's amazing, right?"

Izumi returned her stare onto him and mouth opened into an awed 'O'-shape before nodding eagerly.

"Holy shit, she's accomplished more than me than I had in my entire life," Izumi gushed, wondering if she'd ever get to meet this Wonder Woman in person. So far, Izumi had rarely ever interacted with a person that was the same sex as her, much less someone so close to her age group and was apparently this _incredible_. She hoped that she'd be able to be friends with this 'Riko' person if she ever got the opportunity to meet her.

Kiyoshi chuckled and patted the younger girl's hair in a somewhat similar way he did to Riko when she found out about his knee injury. "Don't say that about yourself, Ayase-chan. It'll take time, but all you need is courage, okay?"

Izumi beamed back at him with a little less uncertainty than she usually had, "Okay!"

 _Ding~! Ding~!_

"Ah, you better answer that, they're probably from your boyfriends," Kiyoshi teased, knowing that the younger girl still didn't catch onto the romantic implication behind "boyfriends", still assuming it was "boy friends".

* * *

 **To:** Ayase Izumi  
 **From:** Midorima Shintarou

 **Subject:** the match

* * *

Ayase,

I see. I shall see you then. Please do not embarrass me by shouting my name constantly when you see me. I hear it enough from Takao despite the fact that we are on the same team. I advise you to arrive on time so as you do not get caught in the crowd, it would be misfortunate if you were to get foolishly injured again when you have been discharged so recently. I expect you to at least be chaperoned to the event, just for your own safety. It would be in your best interests if you had someone accompany you up to the stadium in case you stupidly manage to get yourself in trouble again, as always.

I am...excited to meet you as well. I predict that Oha-Asa is in our favor on that day. I do not wish for our meeting to be on bad terms. If you'd prefer it, you may wait for us outside the locker room after the match is finished or inform us on your whereabouts beforehand. Please do not idiotically rush yourself by trying to beat the crowd while your wrist is still injured.

 _ **\- Shintarou**_

* * *

 **To:** Ayase Izumi  
 **From:** Takao Kazunari

 **Subject:** ✿*∗˵╰༼✪ᗜ✪༽╯˵∗*✿

* * *

IZU-CHAAAAAAAAAN!

Coach is cutting practice short for us to rest up so we're supposed to go back soon~! Ah but I can't visit you for too long~! Got a date with Shin-chan! (╭ರᴥ•́) I'm really sorry Izu-chan~! But I hope you had a lot of good luck today since you have your lucky item on you! I'll come by the hospital later to take my jacket back~!

(Phrase your words better Izu-chan you nearly got me killed today┌(˵༎ຶ ل͟ ༎ຶ˵)┐I nearly died by Shin-chan!)

We can't wait for you to get discharged, Izumi-chan! We can go dinner, karaoke, lucky item hunting, oh but Shin-chan says we can't do any of that until review tests are over, which is in sooooo looooooong! It's not like we can even fail them anyway, but Shin-chan is just being Shin-chan, he says he wants to "teach you a lesson in who's better in academics", so you better prove him wrong, Izu-chan! I got my bets on you for once! Eheh but don't tell Shin-chan that he'll get all moody and annoyed with me and I'll never hear the end of it ᕕ 〵ง.

Can't wait to see you, Izu-chan!

XOXOXOXO

 _ **\- Kazu**_ _ **ﾟ**_ _ **°˖* ᕕ( ᐛ )ᕗ**_

* * *

Kiyoshi hummed as he read the emails over her shoulder, watching her smile at each and every line the two boys had sent her. From his own observation, Izumi tended to chuckle under her breath while reading Midorima's email, scoffing at the tsundere-like tone in the message before smiling with so much affection that it baffled Kiyoshi to learn that she had yet to meet the boy in real life yet as of date. And her affection wasn't the obsessive, love-at-first-sight type of affection either - Izumi truly liked and enjoyed Midorima's interactions slash banter and Kiyoshi could tell that she held the tsundere boy in very high regard. It was such a puzzling thing for even Kiyoshi to comprehend. Even after Izumi showed him some of the messages Midorima had sent her over the past weeks, which mostly contained insults, concern and some form of interest in whatever topic Izumi decided to rant about and even a tiny hint of playfulness.

In a not-so-different comparison to Takao, where Izumi simply smiled and giggled the whole way through despite noticing that he would not be able to visit her for very long. Her energy spiked a ton when she read the amount of the things Takao was hinting that they could do once they discharged. She even tugged Kiyoshi's shirt eagerly while bouncing slightly up and down when she recited that specific line for him, clearly overjoyed at the prospect of hanging out with friends.

 _Ayase-chan_... _what kind of lonely life have you been living so far to be this excited_?

"Heh, as if Shintarou will beat me in academics! I'm a introverted hermit for a reason!" Izumi proclaimed proudly to herself, earning a confused smile and a sweatdrop from the Center. _Haha, that's an interesting thing to be proud of, Ayase-chan…_

At the last line Izumi couldn't help but squeeze the phone to her chest with the most intense look of excitement Kiyoshi had ever seen on her face during the past three hours of spending time with her. He realized that in comparison to her reaction to Midorima's messages, Izumi was purely exhilarated and balls-to-the-walls high on drugs when she was reading Takao's. The Iron Heart assumed this was more intensified when they were together in person, or possibly not? She did mention that Takao was very affectionate, so it was under his assumption that her affection for Takao bordered more on the physical and emotional side. It really did that Izumi did really care for both of them equally with no hint of romantic affection anywhere, and Kiyoshi humorously wondered if she'd even understand the concept of flirting if it hit her in the face one day..

 _Hmm...probably for Izumi-chan...it'd probably take a lot of time_. _And patience~!_

 _Ehhhhh_ , Kiyoshi sighed internally as he watched the bluenette frantically type out a friendzied reply, still hopping up and down from her position, _At least that girl has two very intimidating bodyguards to prevent her from getting into trouble when that happens~!_

* * *

 **To** : Midorima Shintarou  
 **From:** Ayase Izumi

 **Subject:** Re: the match

* * *

Shintarou!

MOUUUU I CAN'T BE HELPED IF I WANT TO CHEER YOU GUYS ON OKAY! And it won't be just you, you tsundere! I'll cheer on Kazunari too! With all my heart! I'll break my vocal chords if I have to even though I doubt that is physically possible. I'll make sure to scream your name loud and clear so you'll get embarrassed and then I'll find out who you are!

Heheh, I wanna meet you too, Shintarou! It feels like I've known you for fucking years but it's not and I wanna talk about dumb shit with you like your favorite politician as of date, what do you wanna be when you grow up, what kind of cake you'd like for your birthday. And like weird shit too like if you've watched Harry Potter, or if you've read anything good lately, and the story of the rickshaw! Kazunari keeps telling me that you should be the one to tell it and I've been fucking DEAD to know how the fuck did you guys get a fucking rickshaw. OKAY, MOST IMPORTANTLY, THE RICKSHAW. LMAO. Like? Did you find it? Did you BUY it? STEAL IT? Ohoho, the possibilities are endless.

And no, I won't injure myself again lmao you got no faith in me Shintarou I'm wounded. (;´༎ຶД༎ຶ`) Heheh I won't interrupt you guys at practice now~!

 _ **\- Izumi ᕕ( ՞ ᗜ ՞ )ᕗ**_

* * *

 **To** : Takao Kazunari  
 **From:** Ayase Izumi

 **Subject:** Re: ✿*∗˵╰༼✪ᗜ✪༽╯˵∗*✿

* * *

Kazunari,

! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! HAVE FUN ON YOUR DATE! AND YES TO KARAOKE AND DINNER AND EVERYTHING YOU GUYS WANNA DO EVEN IF IT'S STUDYING ALL DAY! MY MOM MAKES BOMB SNACKS AND SHE'LL LOVE TO HAVE YOU GUYS OVER. And I assure you your bet won't be in sacrifice, Kazunari! I'll do my ab~solute best.

Also...sorry for getting you killed? I don't really know why though! See you later~! Go back to practice!

(And yes, I had a lot of fun today with my lucky item! Thank you for leaving it here, Kazunari~! I'm gonna hug you really hard when you get here, so watch out! c( ⁰ 〰 ⁰ )੭)

 _ **\- Izumi**_

* * *

"I think there is something wrong with our first-year duo…" Shuutoku's captain Ootsubo pointed up with a deadpan look as he gestured over to the first year starters who were looking at their phones. For one, Midorima was actually fucking _smiling_ at it, as if that wasn't fucking freaky enough. Like, not an "evil, slightly dubious intentions, competitive" smile but a small, sincere _smile_ smile that was actually so adorable the third-years were honestly kind of taken aback to see it. And _second_ , Takao was practically fist bumping into the air, complete with a Mt. Fuji atmospheric background and a literal Hawk sitting on his shoulder to match while yelling, "CUUUUTE!"

It was _sickening_.

"Kimura, give me a pineapple, I'm going to knock whatever the fuck is fogging up their brains with it."

Kimura sighed. "And for the last time, I don't have one."

* * *

 **To be fair, I don't exactly like this chapter a lot, so it's probably gonna be rewritten~! Should I even continue with this fic though? While I love writing for it it's a little discouraging to get sparse feedback from it. But I shall try.**

 **ALSO FAIR WARNING!** The next chapter will be OMAKES/Side Stories. There will be MidoTaka elements for all you MidoTaka lovers as well as Takao basically um, dying. At some times. Okay maybe a lot.

 ***Koi-Koi:** A card game using Hanafuda cards. It also means "come on!"


	7. (SPECIAL) Side Story

_**How To Text A Tsundere  
**_ _by Newt Is My Shank_

* * *

 **Side Story 1** (Ch. 5)

* * *

 _BEEEEEEEEP!_

"Alright, five minute water break!"

Takao groaned softly as he stretched his arms, closing his eyes shut in concentration as beads of sweat rolled down his forehead and his back. He swore warm ups were getting longer and harder for the past few days, along with the night practice, and it was taking quite a toll on the rest of the basketball club members - aside from their number one shooter and maybe the third years. Even Takao was feeling the heat of it. Despite his physique, he _did_ have his limits, you know!

 _That being said, but I can't slack off like this_ , Takao thought, collecting both his and Midorima's bottles in his arms before taking a swig of his own. "Shin-chan! Water!" Takao couldn't help but grin as Midorima swiftly caught the bottle without even looking, the perfect athlete that he was. Surprisingly enough, the megane was behaving quite well today. Normally the green-haired teen would've very likely used one of his three selfish acts at this point, one would be getting permission to go for shooting practice by himself (with Takao's occasional supervision). But something in Izumi's email earlier seemed to pushed him to practice with the team today.

 _Geh, still that lucky item's got to go…._ Takao deadpanned at the sight of the life Daruma doll sitting on the bench, the Hawk Eye teen torn between laughing outright at its size or teasing Midorima with it. He's dealt with Midorima's quirks for so long that no lucky item Midorima brought around with him ever surprised him anymore. But the reactions it received from the other members were still hilarious as fuck to see

Still - Takao leaned against the railing in order to catch his breath - truly, if it weren't for the shooting guard's obsessive quirks…

 _Tall, toned, perfectly proportioned physique. Pretty, silky smooth pristine skin. Takao unconsciously felt his gaze being drawn the the silver of sweat that trickled down his neck as he drank his water. Yes, Midorima Shintarou_ _ **drank**_ _, he never_ _ **chugged down**_ _or_ _ **took a swig**_ _like every other thirsty boy did, lmfao, with the use of his long, pretty fingers, crafted and refined by the hands of God himself. How they looked so inappropriately attractive when holding the ball, fingertips poised to project those ridiculously high three-pointers._

 _Then there were his eyelashes. His pretty, pretty eyelashes. Almost as pretty as a girl's. Scratch that, Takao was pretty sure his eyelashes were more beautiful than any of those fake lashes he saw on the girls he had crushes on. He would've thought they were fake as well if Midorima had explicitly mentioned that he didn't wear makeup because he thought it was unnecessary to douse his skin with harmful concoctions. Truth be told was that Midorima simply didn't_ _ **need**_ _any. He was annoyingly pretty just as he is,_

 _And let's talk about the hair, shall we? No one in their goddamn mind should ever look that good with GREEN ASS HAIR. But Midorima? Takao didn't know how, but Midorima pulled it off like how he pulled off everything else. It was unfair! Especially when he perspired - yes, you heard me, perspired, not_ _ **sweated**_ _\- and those little, tempting rivulets of water dripping down the tips of his bangs in the showers -_

Takao shook his head frantically, blush dusting his cheeks. _Aaaah, stop! Stop! Shin-chan's a guy! A GUY! A very pretty guy! But still a guy, oi - !_

"Bakao, why are you slapping yourself nanodayo?"

"Eh?" Takao looked up in surprise as Midorima stood over him, his typical poker-annoyed expression on his face. The point guard then looked at his hands and realized they were red, and fuck, his cheeks were _burning_.

"A-Ah, ouch, o-ow!" Takao rubbed his cheeks frantically in order to cool himself down, the fact that Midorima was stalking over closer and closer towards him _not_ helping the fire in his cheeks.

"Honestly, I don't know why you are this stressed over something so trivial as a preliminary match, cool yourself down before you lose any more brain cells, Takao nanodayo," Midorima, despite his brashness and bluntness, pressed his own towel against his partner's cheek, taking the brunette by surprise. The coolness and softness of the towel against his heated cheeks was pleasant, but the fact that the green-haired man was _so damn close_ was not helping his pulse rate at all! Takao's face got redder and redder the more Midorima pressed his towel against his cheek, his green eyes never never leaving the Hawk Eye player's face.

 _Waaah, it should be illegal to look like that! Shin-chan, you're illegal!_ Takao mentally screamed.

"Maaa~ Shin-chan what's up with you today~? You're getting soft," Takao teased, diverting the topic. And his pounding heart.

Midorima pushed up his glasses in indignation. "Don't be ridiculous Takao. I was simply concerned that you might be losing more brain cells by slapping yourself. You're as idiotic enough as it is nanodayo."

Takao sweatdropped, "Maaa~ Shin-chan you're so cruel."

"A-Anyway - "

Takao blinked and checked his ears. Did he just hear Midorima _stutter_?

"Takao...are you doing anything later today?"

 _Eeeeeehhhhh?_

"I'll be visiting Izu-chan, as per usual," Takao said with a smile, trying to read the tsundere's poker face, "Why, Shin-chan? Do you want to do something today?"

For a few seconds Midorima didn't say anything. And then he nodded, slowly.

"I...would like accompaniment...today…"

"Ahh, I see. You wanna go lucky item hunting? I don't mind, but I kinda wanna get some grub after practice~."

"...We can do that afterwards. If you'd like. It's up to you, i-it doesn't matter much to me anyway."

A slow nod. Despite the harsh lighting of the gym lights, Takao could faintly make out an embarrassed flush tinting the green-haired shooter's ears. Takao's eyes went wide - _no fucking way…_

"Shin-chan...what brought this on? N-Not that I mind...I'm just curious~."

Midorima awkwardly looked to the side and fixed his glasses again, "It's just that...you've been spending quite the amount of time with Ayase that…"

Takao blinked once. Then twice. The lighting that was cast on Midorima's godlike physique really did quite fog up the point guard's concentration for a bit. Either that or he was _actually_ hearing what Midorima was implying…

"...That...I….feel…"

Midorima's ears turned redder and redder the more he tried to explain, taking off his glasses seemingly to wipe them off to hide his nervousness, it was almost too pitiable to bear watching. _Holy shit, even I'm getting embarrassed_ , Takao's cheeks heated up even more, seeing the normally dignified Midorima - prone to be a rude, blunt dickhead 80% of the time - reduced to an introverted child trying his best to ask for what he wanted.

 _Ahh...this is an unexpected development, I'd never think Shin-chan would actually be jealous of Izu-chan. Heheh, and the way he's trying to express that feeling...oh my god Shin-chan you're killing me here._

Takao broke out into a laugh.

Midorima paused his stammering and blushing and glared at him.

"W-Whatever, I shall go off by myself. There's no need for you to - " Midorima got stopped in place when Takao grabbed onto his wrist. Midorima looked down at him in confusion as Takao yanked onto him so he could pull his own weight up. "Maaa, Shin-chan -" Takao tiptoed so he could be at eye level with the shooting guard, his piercing blue eyes meeting Midorima's elegant green ones, "- you could've just said you wanted to spend time with me you know~?"

Midorima's eyebrows furrowed in anger, and he might've actually looked the part if not for the huge ass gigantic blush gracing his cheeks. "D-Don't be stupid, Takao! I-I just prefer to have some f-form of company when I go o-out nanodayo, it doesn't necessarily have to be yours -"

He couldn't even finish his sentence as Takao plucked the glasses right off his nose and plopped them directly onto his own face. Midorima just stared at him in incredulity because _what in the literal fuck_.

"I'll accept the invite, Shin-chan~," Takao singsonged, quickly realizing how foggy his partner's glasses were and took the opportunity to wipe them off with his towel, "but next time -"

Takao tiptoed up to Midorima's level again and gently placed the glasses back on his face, knuckles gently brushing against the shooting guard's warm cheek, "- let's invite Izumi-chan out with us too! Okay?"

Midorima stared back at Takao, before closing his eyes, lips drawn into a pretentious, "hmph". There was a hint of a smile somewhere in his expression.

"Hmm, I'd suspect Ayase would be a better form of company than you would. Next time I shall invite her instead, you need not come, Takao."

"H-Hidoi! Shin-chan you're so mean~!"

"I am not. I shall only request for you to to drive the rickshaw for us."

"E-Eh? You're not gonna ask Izu-chan to?"

"Bakao! How could I let a lady do the manual work? And I assumed you had more respect for Ayase than that -"

"That's rude, Shin-chan! Using Izu-chan like that~."

"I am not using her, I am simply stating a fact nanodayo."

Takao burst out into chuckles at their banter. To be fair, he really did kind of miss this, no matter how dickish Midorima could be at times. Visiting Izumi was fun at all but he did feel like he was sort of "neglecting" his partner a bit. "Chaperoning" Midorima on his lucky item hunting days was a past-time that while he might not enjoy 100% of the time - it did have his perks. Sometimes. _Sometimes_. Like making Midorima smile, pissing Midorima off, teasing Midorima, bullying Midorima -

He lightly shoved at Midorima's shoulder with an all-knowing grin and a wink. "So~ it's a date. Right Shin-chan?"

Midorima huffed and brushed the Hawk Eye player's hand off his shoulder. "Whatever you want to call it. No matter how disgusting it sounds."

"Yes, yes, Tsunderima-chan~."

"D-Don't call me that!"

"Eh, but it's fitting, don'tcha think?"

"Die, Takao."

"OI! FIRST YEARS! STOP FLIRTING HURRY UP AND START YOUR DRILLS! OR I'LL HIT YOU WITH PINEAPPLES!"

"Hai, Miyaji-senpai~!"

"W-We are not flirting!"

"Tell it to the judge, Shin-chan."

" _T-Takao - !_ "

* * *

 **(NG) Side Story 2** (Ch. 5)

* * *

"Hey hey, Izu-chan, I've come to collect my -"

Takao fucking froze on the spot only to see Izumi, _his_ Izumi, _in bed_ , wearing _HIS_ varsity jacket. Said blue-haired girl perked up to see him petrified at the doorway and pulled down the sheets, feet pattering down on the floor as she made her way to greet him. Not a smart choice, seeing as Takao got full view of Izumi's tiny, petite form almost _drowning_ in his Shuutoku varsity jacket. Complete with her messy but adorable bedhead hair and the _fucking sweater paws_ that just nicely covered her palms -

 _ULTIMATE MOEEEEEE!_ Takao mentally hollered, _This is what men's fantasies are made of. Seeing a cute girl wearing a boyfriend jacket and looking like she just got out of bed, coming up to you and AHHH MUST REFRAIN FROM GLOMPING -_

"I-Izumi-chan?"

Before the Hawk Eye player knew it, the girl was standing merely inches away from him, her fluffy blue hair lightly touching his face and dark grey eyes staring intently into his own. _Ahhh, she's intimidating while close up…!_ Takao's brain stopped functioning as he felt tiny arms wrap around his neck and pull him down so the height difference wasn't so laughably drastic.

"Kazunari...everyone advised me to do this so…"

"E-Eh, Izu-chan what do you mean 'advise' -"

He felt the pressure around his neck get tighter and he swore, he _swore_ he could very clearly feel the heat in between the distance of their bodies, and _holy fucking shit is she going to -_

Izumi tilted her chin up, and pressed her lips against the Hawk Eye player's forehead. She stayed in that position for about 2 seconds before pulling away and tilting her head to gauge the point guard's reaction. He was still there, frozen in place, jaw dropped slightly at what just happened and staring at her in disbelief.

 _Beat._

 _Beat._

 _Beat._

Takao did the only thing he knew what to do in this situation.

 _Beat._

 _Beat._

 _Beat._

 _THUNK._

Izumi watched in a shock as Takao's stoned, lifeless form fell onto the ground.

"...This was not supposed to happen."

Izumi shrugged. Eh, it could've gone worse.

* * *

 _ **I am sick.**_


End file.
